November 2008

TONIGHT’s TV NEWSFLASH: VOTE YES FOR LIFETIME NETWORK

Hi good folks:

If you and your fellow South Dakotans (mostly the KELO TV-Land World viewing audience) are bored tonight since there is nothing else to watch on the television (or what my Gramps Grump calls the “booby tooby nipple screen”), my Aunt Bertha alerted our family to the special episodes showing tonight on Lifetime, the Channel for Women (or as my Uncle Rusty says – Lifetime, the channel for sheep and manly goats). 

Just look at the lineup tonight: 8PM – Wife Swap where the Burkhalter and Elliot men swap wives. My Aunt Bertha tried doing the same with GOP V.P.’s hubby Hotty Toddy Paladin but Uncle Rusty vetoed it because, although he thinks Hotty Toddy’s wife is surely a HOTTY, he thinks she is dumb as a doornail.  And at 9PM, How to Look Good Naked is showing and Granny Gumption is so darn excited that she is popping up some Jiffy Pop popcorn on the stove, melting loads of butter in the microwave, and is using some kind of battery-powered stick-looking thing (that looks like an ear of corn without the kernals) and is sticking the entire thing down the front of her pants – oh, that silly Granny).

It doesn’t get much better after that with special episodes of Will & Grace and Golden Girls…

See the photo below of my family watching the Lifetime channel 4 years ago –  tonight (isn’t that special?) – VOTE YES for LIFETIME Channel, each and every 4 years!!!

Stay Tuned and Sincerely,

EggBert mnbvcxzlkjhgfdsapoiuytrewq

 

 

The End of an Error

ILUSTRATION; The Late Great Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth

The End of an Error

In all seriousness, it really doesn’t matter who wins the presidential race today, one thing is for sure, NO MORE BUSH.

I think he has been the worst president our country has ever seen. I still like the bumper sticker I have seen on several cars around town; ‘Never thought I would miss Nixon’

What surprises me the most is that he isn’t sitting in a jail cell with Cheney. Not only is there plenty of evidence to charge him with war crimes and crimes against humanity, he could have been impeached on violating the 4th Amendment alone (something he admitted to in a press conference – how much  more proof do you need?).

History will judge him very poorly. There has even been rumors circulating that he will be brought up on criminal charges when he steps out of office.

He has single-handily;

– Bankrupt our country

– Destroyed the middle-class

– Tore up our Constitution

– Destroyed our standing in the world

– Increased world terrorism in the world against our allies

– Contributed to global warming by removing energy regulations

– Destroyed the reputation of his party (which isn’t all that bad). He did get some help from Tom Delay on this one, and most recently, Ted Stevens.

And this is where Barack Obama comes in. If it weren’t for Bush’s pitiful failures, Obama may still just be a Senator from Illinois. He has been able to take the high road, and prove that you can be positive in a campaign and get results – we’ll know more about that tonight.

GO VOTE RATFINKS!