EggBert family/friend women’s New Year’s Thriving Sioux Falls Economy Food-Shopping Resolution – 2009

EggBert family women’s New Year’s Thriving Sioux Falls Economy Food-Shopping Resolution – 2009

1. Aunt Bertha: “This year, I will frequent more outdoor fruit markets where young Hotty boys sell their home-grown hard melons and nice, firm well-hung bananas – Yum, Yum!”

2. Granny Gumption: “I plan on buyin’ more fruit from the back of a truck ‘cuz I spent most of ma younger years with ma legs up in the air bearin’ fruit in the back of a truck – YeeeeeeeeHaw!!!!” –

3. Sister/Nephew/Cousin Nathan Jane: “This coming year I will shop more often for repressed, adrogoneous lobsters who are captured & treated like criminals by being forced into dark, isolated containment until someone (family member or otherwise) tries to chop off their arms & heads because they are universally deemed no-good stinkin’, slimey & crispy freaks” –

4. Neighbor Creamy Nugent: “This cumin’ year, I ain’t plannin’ on changin’ a damn thing from my usual Meat & Boy’s Buffet – Mmmm, Mmmm…Yowwwwzer!” - 

5. Neice Nellie:  “In 2009, I will shop for more healthy,  pre-natal canned goods for me to eat like Pringles, pork & beans, and Soda Pop, ‘cuz Petey Schwetty, my boyfriend, likes to stick his weiner into me a lot and some day, a another tiny baby-like looking creature might come out of my baby-makin’ pee-hole area” –

Way to go ladies – you are the cream of the crap, (ooops, typo), I mean – crop!

Sincerely,

EggBert, The Great 2008 Turkey Turd Award Stud

P.S. Now, let the 2009 New Year’s Turkey Turd Award competition hunt begin…(and you other SD Coke blogger-types can suck on my Turkey Turdlets because I aim to win it again next year – because one can never have enough Turkey Turd Awards sitting in the Fridge)