HAPPY EASTER, FELLOW CHRISTIANS!!!
(NOT you un-Christian fags, liberals, atheists, catholics, anti-patriots, non-smokers, artsy-fartsy artists, baptists, lesbos, non-whites, hippies, gun-haters, Jews, non-chiropracters, Obamamuslims, eskimos, vegetarians, non-sheep, etc.)
Below are snapshots of our wonderful, enchanting, and traditional EggBert Family Easter Day Christian Celebration – 2009
1) We all awoke early to the beautiful sunshine of Easter morn,  dressed up in our finest clothes & walked to church to celebrate that, after HE was crucified for OUR sinful natures, our Lord Jesus Christ had indeed Arisen from the Dead – Hallelujah!!! In church, we read these inspirational words in our pew bibles:  John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
2) When we all arrived home after church, we spent the rest of the morning hours studying, discussing, & celebrating together the Christian Word: John 4:11 – Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
3) After sharing the Christian Word all morning, we continued communing in peace and harmony seeking guidance from the Bible for much of the afternoon holding hands, praying, and worshipping together in Chrisitan Fellowship:Â 1 John 3:23 – And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.
4) Then, in annual EggBert Family tradition, we sent the boys (& Neighbor Creamy Nugent’s huntin’ Pooch, Pubes) out back in Granny Gumption’s Garden to chase up some rabbit to castrate so Aunt Bertha could whip up some of her world-famous, delectable “Bertha Bullroar’s Baked, Broiled & Broasted Bunny Balls” for Easter Dinner!
5) Then after supper, we got big-time drunk, bitched about the Un-Godly Anti-Christians into the wee hours of the night, and then, as family tradition has it, re-enacted Christ’s Crucifixion by beating up our niece/cousin/nephew Nathan Jane with our fists until he/it/she cried bled & wept…
Sincerely,
EggBert & The Holy EggBert Family/Neighborhood
Bicuits and rabbit testicles, who knew it could make such a delightful holiday treat?
My dog killed the easter bunny yesterday. Sorry.
At least he was able to hide the eggs for the kids down the street first.