Matt makes suggestions on what lottery winner, Neal Wanless, can do with his money;
Hire a team from NASA to invent a cell phone that causes teen drivers to break out in zits whenever they type a text message instead of KEEPING THEIR EYES ON THE ROAD!!! Adults who text and drive will get hemorrhoids. Get us all blaze orange hats and bulletproof vests for those days when Dick Cheney comes here to hunt. Do Kelby Krabbenhoft one better and build a retractable roof that covers the entire state. When January comes around, close that sucker up tight and don’t open it until St. Patrick’s Day. Or give the Sanford Health CEO a call. Together, you two probably have enough money to buy the sun.
• Buy the Capitol in Pierre and move it to an undisclosed location. Tell only people who think teachers work more than nine months a year where it is.
• While they’re at it, have those folks from NASA invent an apple pie that, when smothered in ice cream and eaten while drinking a beer, causes a person to actually lose weight.
• Give half the money to the ethanol industry. It loves handouts.
That one was my favorite.