2009

Butt of the Joke

Hi ya all – My Aunt Bertha’s got some bitchin’ to do on her bullhorn –

Aunt Bertha’s Bullhorn on April Fool’s Day, 2009:

“Our new President OBummer is boring and black…

– while former President Bush was our beloved white Frick’n Funny Fool…

So, to those of you so-called Americans who voted for the black guy for President – who’s the Butt of the Joke NOW? Huh?  Huh? What up – Huh?”

Sincerely,

EggBert (& Auntie Bertha who does not get enough from Uncle Rusty who watches too much PBS with Gramps Grumpy Gump who hasn’t given Granny Gumption what she desires for the past 77 years due to 1) his leaky weiner and 2) because she ONLY wants it filled up in the can)

Breaking: Munson’s Chief of Staff Jodi Schwan resigns without notice

The word I am getting was that councilor Jamison offered her a job with a new group he has formed, “Jamison for a New Event Center/Mayor” I know it is a weird name, but I asked my source several times, and they said, “Yup, that’s what’s on the business cards.” I guessed he asked her to run the operation and if he wins the mayoral election he will hire her as chief of staff.

Not only did they have business cards printed up (a printer tipped me off about it) they also have t-shirts and on the back it says “For those about to Rock City Hall; Vote Jamison for mayor and for new event center”.

 I’m not sure what kind of tussle this will cause between Greg and Dave?

I called a city employee I know and asked if it was true, she said. “Looks like it.” She also told me that Dave sent out a memo for a special meeting to be setup this afternoon to discuss which staffers will pick up Jodi’s duties. I asked her if she was upset about that and her response was, “What? I might have to work an extra 5 minutes a day?”

There is also a rumor circulating what Munson will do with the money saved from her salary. I know several of the department heads have been asking for their own washers and dryers in their offices, this may be a possibility.

This oughta be an interesting city election coming up!

Check the comments area for updates

The END is NIGH!

Conficker delivering it's payload...
Or at least that is what the MSM would have you believe. Not that there isn’t something to it, but I want everyone to notice what the ‘impending doom’ does for Mcafee and Symantec’s stocks over the last 48 hours. This happens every time one of these super worms gets announced. I might sound crazy, but I think it’s a conspiracy to stimulate the economy through ignorance and fear.
OK, so the increase isn’t dramatic, but it’s there none the less.
Now rush home and update your computer before it turns into a zombie and spams the world into a recession! Or call your IT guy and ask him if you should be worried… they love that.

Another Bobblehead throws his Hat in the ring

buffalox

Hey, Rick, you won’t have time to feed the buffalo if you win.

Rick Knobe is looking to get his old job back . . .

Easy Rider rip

Former Mayor Rick Knobe says he is giving consideration to another bid.

 

“I think about it nearly every day and have not ruled out the possibility,” Knobe told me Monday.

“What makes up my mind? Probably time more than anything. I have a good feel for the issues. I know what needs to be done. I always have fire in the belly, but is it enough fire?” Knobe said.

I wish him luck, but I have had this race predicted before it has even started. It will be decided in a runoff election between Costello and Staggers. And it will be a death match to the finish line.

Other possible mayoral candidates include Sioux Falls businessman Bill Peterson (Mr. Wishy Washy), who is thought to be seriously considering a run but has not made a decision, and City Council members Vernon Brown (Mr. Rainbow Unicorns), Kermit Staggers (The Enforcer), Gerald Beninga (Mr. Doesn’t say much) and Pat Costello (Mr. Math Nerd & hamburger maker). Consider Greg Jamision (Drama Queen) as a possible candidate, too. Encouraged by his friends (?$$$$) to run Jamision says he would like the opportunity to help shape Sioux Falls.

Bahahahahaha! Gawd, I hope Greg runs. Going to the Mayoral Forums will be like improv night at community theatre (wonder if he will tear up). “I decided to run to save people from dying in floods, bring more AC/DC concerts to town and to represent the silent minority millionaire developers who aren’t getting enough handouts and tax breaks from the city already.”

Will petitioners get smoke breaks?

Boy, I had to laugh when I saw this on the front page of the Gargoyle today;

A group of liquor establishment owners took out a petition Tuesday to force the newly signed smoking ban to a public vote in 2010.

 

Don Rose, co-owner of Shenanigan’s Pub in Sioux Falls, is one of four people listed on the petition. Others are Mark O’Neill, Licensed Beverage Dealers of South Dakota president from Henry; Pete Thompson of Tinner’s Bar and Grill and Tommy Jacks in Sioux Falls; and Mike Trucano of Deadwood.

Baahahahahahaha! Even if! Even if they get enough signatures the vote will go down in flames at least 70/30. Instead of wasting their time on a foolish effort they ought to get together and devise a way to attract new non-smoking customers. If I were a bar owner, I would eliminate smoking a month before the ban goes into affect to get a jump start on the new non-smoking clientele. I am amazed at how fearful business owners in this state are of change.

The group would need to collect 16,776 valid signatures by June 29. If successful, that will stop the smoking ban from taking effect July 1 and give bar owners 16 months to allow smoking in their establishments.

 

If enough signatures are obtained, then state residents would vote on the ban in November 2010.

They will have to hire petitioners, or even buy signatures, because there is no way they will be able to get enough volunteers willing to ask for petition signatures to keep something legal that kills people. “Yeah, will you sign my petition, so bar owners can continue to have the right to poison their clientele and employees?”

An attempt to reach Larry Mann, who is assisting the coalition with the petition process, was unsuccessful Tuesday night.

He was out drinking and smoking I guess.

Shenanigan’s owner Rose said that one exception benefits only Tim Kant, owner of Stogeez cigar bar in Sioux Falls. His bar will be allowed to have smoking.

 

“Now we have a monopoly, and his (liquor) license is more valuable than mine,” Rose said.

Because Mr. Rose, what Timmy wants – he gets. I suggest you tell the legislature to close the loophole next year. Trust me, we will be monitoring Mr. Kant and his supposed ‘Cigar Only’ policy.