Hi there:Â Happy Valentine’s Day, baby-makin’ machines!
Now that our local & national political leaders are seriously & truly GOIN’ PRO-LIFE this year, the EggBert Family (still holed up happily underneath the ground below Senior Wee Wee’s Restaurant as the weenie juice flows mingles nicely with the city’s decaying sewer system) is HOT Doggone excited for the future of PRO-LIFE mankind & their weenie production…
PRO-LIFE, first and foreskin-most, serves the grand purpose of the continuance & sustainability of MAN’s weiner (only pretty much needing the women’s baby-making orifices & monthly and bloody “MEN-STRONG” period to help things along, – period.)
In honor of Valentine’s Day 2010, we (the EggBert family, our Lord Jesus & his pretty cool dad, along with employees & patrons of Senior Wee Wee’s, a lovely place where you can purchase juicy, orgasmy weenies & such that are all fried, boiled, grilled, broiled, spammed, microwaved, toasted, baked, scrambled, quiched, pureed, injected, stroked, frozen, splayed, shiskabobed, weaved, licked, knitted, poked, sucked, touched, sauteed, head-butted, sprinkled, squeezed, vibrated, etc.) have spent the past many weeks down here debatin’ ABORTION issues (Pro-Lifers vs. Anti-Americans, who ironically should’ve been aborted years ago – WTF!!!) and we have come up with a new definition of PRO-LIFE for our city, state, and national leaders: Â
PRO-LIFE is God’s Commandment to go forth and multiply the weiners of the world; it means procreation; makin’ whoopie HOT Doggie style; gettin’ funky with the monkey, having the interaction of MAN’s weenie conjunktified with the female’s baby-making parts, which include, but is not limited to, the women’s deliciously intoxicating watermelons & hairy, stinky yet yummy lower-extremities covered by the hot & steamy brassiere & panty –  with the sole purpose of creating GREAT multiples of babies with weenie sparm-juice & ovum-oven orifices!!!
IF one does NOT follow this PRO-LIFE platform, or if they engage INCORRECTLY with any type of independent & defiant freedom of choice of conception (especially by the female) in the act of sexual deviations in wasting weiner juice or ovum-oven crumbs by 1) using birth control to suffocate or spill sparm, 2) masturbating via mechanical device or phsical grab-hold, or 3) polluting the ovum-oven with meaningless abortion-type material that only serves under-the-table scraps to the Hound in Hell, then you can just go STICK IT, you atheistesticularly anti-LIFE frankfurter-hating, abortionistic liberal freaks!!!
Sincerely,
EggBert (who also thinks all hand- lotions, paper napkins, and clothes-hangers should be outlawed)