Get out your feather boas and unicorn saddles, because Sweet Vernon ‘The Velvet Hammer’ Brown is in the HOUSE!
While I have been telling you over the past, oh, I don’t know, 3 years that Kermit is the man, I came to the realization that we need someone sensitive in the mayor’s seat, and Vernon is the man. NOT KERMIT. Who else has;
• Taken taxpayer money to bailout the zoo
• Flip-flopped on tax increases (cuz, god dammit, those developers need help)
• Talked about how adorable his daughter is one too many f’ing times.
• Cries about not having an indoor pool on a daily basis.
• Deletes blog comments on his site.
• Claims to be a fiscal conservative while advocating a million dollar rhino barn and flamingo shed.
I could go on an on about all of his experience as a KELO-TV jokalist and a marketing manager for some communications outfit, but why bore you with his inexperience? Just vote for Vernon, and he will read you a bedtime story on Channel 16 every night and tuck you in while a silhouette of an American Flag waves in the background. Don’t hold back, vote with your heart, not with you head.