February 2011

The Ugly Table (#30-32)

THE MUSTARD TALK

C: What’s that on my hamburger bun?

ME: What?

C: That yellow stuff?

ME: Mustard.

C: (Confused look)

ME: How about I get you a new bun without it on there?

C: Okay.

ME: Next week come back, and I’ll explain ketchup to you (it’s the red stuff).

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

I FUCKING HATE BIRTHDAYS

C: What do you do for kid’s birthdays?

ME: We hold them upside down by their feet, stick their head in a toilet bowl and flush it, while singing happy birthday to them, of course.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

A PIRATE HUTTERITE . . .

. . . sat at table 56 tonight.

Yo, Ho, Ho and a bottle of raisin wine.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

Poetry club w/ Chuck Luden

I have a virtual job now

Doing imaginary work

Very calming

Charles Luden • 2-26-11 • at Black Sheep

Screen  Overload

Took two aspirins

One vitamin A

Placed a warm moist towel upon my eyes

Nightmares on the way

Charles Luden • 2-26-11 • at Black Sheep

Old  Ones

Do you darn your socks

Damn them

Or just throw them away?

Charles Luden • 2-27-11 • at home

30 days is not enough time to negotiate a contract transaction?

Quick question. How long does it take you to pay a clerk at the grocery store once they have rang up your food? 30 seconds? One minute? Probably.

How long does it take the city to complete a contract transaction once an amount has been determined? Apparently 30 days. Okay, I know both scenarios are not identical, but c’mon, 30 days?

Administration officials worry that requiring council approval of contracts would slow the process down. Scott Rust, the city’s purchasing manager, said the city has a 30-day limit imposed by state law to approve a contract once the city has accepted a bid. As it stands now, it’s sometimes difficult to meet that deadline, and adding council approval as another step would make it worse, he said.

Bullshit excuse. First off, it should not take 30 days, especially after a bid is already accepted. Secondly, a special session can be called to approve expenditures. Didn’t we learn a lesson from when Munson approved 100% overbudget expenditure on Phillips to the Blue Moon bar? Oh, that’s right, he never got in trouble for that because the chickenshit councilors didn’t press charges, so apparently we haven’t learned a lesson. Make no mistake, this is about secrecy, Huether doesn’t want council approval because he doesn’t want them to know what he is spending the money on until it is too late. And he has gotten his new finance director to be lockstep with him, even though he is criticizing the job he did in Watertown on the same matter;

But Tracy Turbak, the city’s new finance director, said other cities don’t have the volume of contracts that Sioux Falls does. Turbak, who came from Watertown, said that city’s council does approve contracts that reach certain thresholds. That doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for Sioux Falls, however.

I don’t know that Watertown is a shining example of how to manage contracts,” he said.

So, Tracy, are you saying you did a shitty job of handling the contracts in Watertown? Wasn’t that a part of your job as finance director? Surprised you had time to send a quote to the newspaper with all the time you are spending with your head up Huether’s ass.

Forget the debate, HB 1217 isn’t really needed

We can yell and scream all we want at each other about whether abortion is ethical or not, but the facts are simple, the 72-hour forced counseling legislature isn’t really needed;

He (Dr. Buehner) said he goes through 25 pages of paperwork with a woman seeking an abortion, including a section requiring her signature on each of 13 pages.

I have to tell them they’re terminating the life of a whole, unique, separate human being. I have to tell them they’re terminating a constitutional relationship with an unborn child. I have to tell them about suicide risk,” Buehner said.

Like I have said before, women don’t just walk into an abortion clinic, get an abortion, and walk out 10 minutes later. HB 1217 is an attempt to limit abortions in our state by making them more difficult to attain, that’s it. It doesn’t help the women seeking an abortion, it only complicates their lives even more, and it certainly doesn’t help the unborn.

Roger, you really need to get a hobby.