The Ugly Table (#30-32)

by

THE MUSTARD TALK

C: What’s that on my hamburger bun?

ME: What?

C: That yellow stuff?

ME: Mustard.

C: (Confused look)

ME: How about I get you a new bun without it on there?

C: Okay.

ME: Next week come back, and I’ll explain ketchup to you (it’s the red stuff).

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

I FUCKING HATE BIRTHDAYS

C: What do you do for kid’s birthdays?

ME: We hold them upside down by their feet, stick their head in a toilet bowl and flush it, while singing happy birthday to them, of course.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

A PIRATE HUTTERITE . . .

. . . sat at table 56 tonight.

Yo, Ho, Ho and a bottle of raisin wine.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/28/11

Posted in: Poetry, The Ugly Table

3 Thoughts on “The Ugly Table (#30-32)”

  1. Helga on March 1, 2011 at 12:56 am said:

    I go along with you on what to do for a kids birthday. Or you can make him listen to Snooki Tuesday on Laura Ingraham’s radio show. Actually that would be worse then sticking his head in the toilet.

  2. Angry Guy on March 1, 2011 at 6:32 am said:

    Watch table 56, they’re likely to steal the silverware.

  3. l3wis on March 1, 2011 at 6:52 am said:

    and the gold . . . . argh.

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