STRAWBERRY POPPYSEED VINAIGRETTE is NOTHING like RANCH
ME: What dressing do you want on your salad?
C: What kind do you have?
ME: What do you like?
C: Um, ah, um . . . .
ME: We have just about everything.
C: Do you have strawberry poppyseed vinaigrette?
ME: (You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, did you just make that up?)
ME: No, but we have Italian.
C: Um, ah, um . . .
ME: Okay, we have, Ceasar, Italian, 1000, French, Honey Mustard, Oil and Vinegar, and Ranch.
C: Do you have light Ranch?
ME: No, only light French.
C: Um, ah, um . . . I’ll take Ranch . . . on the side.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 3/28/11
I hate it when someone I’m with says “what do you have on tap” (instead of looking at all the big handles on the taps), then after hearing the long litany, orders a Bud Light. Then after gazing at the menu for a long time, he says “what’s good?” I want to say “that depends on your taste, DS!”
My favorite is when they tell me they are ready to order, and I have to ask every single fucking person at the table, how they want their steak done, what sides they want and what dressing on their salad.
When you look at me and go, “I’ll take the sirloin.” That doesn’t tell me shit. One of these days I’m going to just put in the largest one with a loaded potato and ranch salad and cook it medium.