PLEASE, LEAVE THESE ITEMS AT HOME WHEN DINING OUT
Crystal Light
Salad dressing
Portable DVD player
Artificial sweetners
Cake, cookies and other desserts
Wetnaps
Baby food
Popcorn
Tax forms
Tupperware
Lego-Land play set
Breast feeding shawl
Bratty, snotty, crybaby kids
If you feel these things are needed to make your dining experience better, maybe you are eating at the wrong place, may I suggest your own fucking dining room? Next time you should stay home with your bunny rabbit cupcakes with pretzel whiskers.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 4/23/11
You forgot one- Laptop computer! I hate going into local fastfood joints over the lunch hour that have “hotspots” only to find some @##hole sitting alone at a booth with his laptop and no seats available as he enjoys his soda and web-browsing with nothing else on the table…
Exactly! If you need to mooch the wi-fi, just do what I do! Sit in the parking lot — works just fine!
My mom and dad both waited table at one time or another, so I really love you “Ugly Table” series. They used to bring home their share of horror stories, too!
As a clergyman, nothing would be nicer than to let someone else wait on me after all of the services, visits, etc. that go into Holy Week. But we have an autistic kid, and taking him to a restaurant can be hell on other diners, staff and ourselves. So, will drink a toast to you today – in our own dining room, I promise! – while our kid watches some favorite movies in peace and comfort.
Happy Easter and, I pray, good tips!
Funny, I left out laptop, because that doesn’t not bother me. We don’t have wi-fi where I work, and we serve a lot of business travelers during the week, so it is almost inevitable that at least 50% have their laptop with them.
Thanks Tim, and usually Holidays are good tips!
I would request that everyone always remember to bring their inside voice to restaurants.
Would agree. It is especially bad when married couples go out and one of the husbands ‘thinks’ he’s funny.
That request goes to everywhere…especially the morons who think we need to hear their “hilarious” phone conversations.
One time (actually twice) I lived about 3 blocks from the Fryin’ Pan on Cleveland. We decided to pretend to talk about how we offed someone over breakfast one night. All the tables around us got quiet, but no one approached us.
true story: was dining out one evening and a woman nearby answered her cell phone. as i tried to enjoy sushi, i got to hear all the details about her friend’s recent surgery. and she was speaking very loudly.
My peave is breakfast hotels with women in the lobby dressed in robes and a towel on their head. Add in unattended 2 year olds in diapers smearing the tables that are never wiped. These hotels do not have to undergo health inspections. I got food poisoning twice. Go across the street to a real restaurant. It’s worth the 7 bucks.
I only eat cereal and juice on continental breakfasts. I stay away from sausages and eggs.
If someone feels the need to carry on a phone conversation in front of me, I like to join in by filling in the empty space when the other person is talking. Mostly I think people are just self centered and dont realize the fact that everyone around them can hear their half of the yeast infection that just wont go away conversation until you make it crystal clear.
“After this rude person said I can’t hear my phone call, I said this is public and I can’t hear my public.” Ron White (comedian)