SF Mayor Huether reacts to the death of Bin Laden

by

“The American people will not be able to truly rejoice until we break ground on a new events center.”

SIOUX FALLS (STORMLAND ENDORSER NEWS)

On the eve of one of the greatest presentations mayor Huether will ever make, he reacts to the jubilance of the American people on the death of Bin Laden.

While many Americans are rejoicing in the death of one of the worst terrorists to ever exist, the good folks of Sioux Falls are rejoicing also. Rejoicing, because not only a chapter in American history can be closed, but a new chapter in Sioux Falls history can be opened, and that’s the construction of a new events center in Sioux Falls.

At the press conference, held at the McKennan Park tennis courts late Sunday night, Huether seemed to avoid questions about his Monday presentation;

Sorry, I am not going to answer questions about the greatest investment Sioux Falls will ever make, I’m not. This press conference is about the death of Bin Laden. And while I could go on and on about the millions in economic impact, the lack of parking downtown, and just how good and swell a new events center could be, I would rather concentrate on Bin Laden’s death instead of bonified studies proving the Arena location is the best spot for an events center or that Steve Hildebrand is trying to sabotage my plans.

But the shocker of the night was when STORMLAND ENDORSER reporter, Ben Dunnless asks Huether a direct question about Afghan caves or something, and Huether breaks down in tears;

We got . . . we got em’ . . . right where we want em’ . . . and gosh darn it . . . it’s not Bin Laden, it’s the good people of Sioux Falls. We got em in a corner and we are going to shove this events center train down their throats just like American special forces shoved their way into Bin Laden’s compound.

We are closer then ever to conquering terror in the world and we are closer then ever to building an events center in Sioux Falls. These goals can be reached together! God Bless America, and God Bless Sioux Falls, South Dakota! It’s time to cut the mustard!

After his speech, Huether immediately turned around and removed a tennis racket, a tennis ball and a can of lighter fluid from a gym bag, doused the ball in fluid, lit it on fire and hit it into the sky. It landed somewhere near the sunken gardens where it seemed to bounce off of the statue of liberty. Supporters of the new events center could be seen running after the ball while singing God Bless America.

Posted in: Event Center, Mayor Hubris, Mayor Subprime Mike Huether, Mike Huether, Sioux Falls

13 Thoughts on “SF Mayor Huether reacts to the death of Bin Laden”

  1. Dukembe on May 2, 2011 at 8:40 am said:

    That’s funny right there. It is.

  2. Sy on May 2, 2011 at 8:48 am said:

    Nice.

    Now that he’s assumed room temperature we should see if we can get bin Laden’s cave and build the new Events Center there. I hear AECOM has a report that show a bazillion dollars more in economic development out there over downtown.

  3. Pathloss on May 2, 2011 at 9:14 am said:

    Using Bin Laden and the EC in the same sentence is an insult. He has no regard for the constitution. Now we know he has no respect for lives lost on 9-1-1. This guy’s gotta go. Maybe one more 500K and get him ousted.

  4. Shelly on May 2, 2011 at 9:18 am said:

    Hey, Pathloss— whooooooosh!

  5. Pathloss on May 2, 2011 at 9:34 am said:

    Yeah, l3wis got me. Because I know Huether, something like this would not surprise me. It’s yet to come but wait till you see him break down in public like I have.

  6. Snooki Palin on May 2, 2011 at 12:03 pm said:

    Is he announcing the members of the coalition of the willing tonight to?

  7. Poly43 on May 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm said:

    Buried at sea within hours after his death???? Very, how shall I say…unusual to say the least. Since when do we give a rip about burial tradition? Did we for hussain?

    As we speak, rumor has it 🙂 donald trump is demanding to see a burial certificate, and noem, palin, bachman and untold hundreds of other t-baggers want to see his body.

  8. l3wis on May 2, 2011 at 1:43 pm said:

    I think this is so they couldn’t build a shrine at a burial site.

    I was thinking the same thing about all the baggers demanding to see the body, but I am sure they took pictures. It was probably best they threw him overboard. Let the fish eat him.

  9. Johnny Roastbeef on May 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm said:

    Technically we didn’t kill Hussein, the Iraqi government did.

    They have pictures, if there is enough demand I’m sure they will come out.

  10. Scott on May 2, 2011 at 3:59 pm said:

    I don’t think they want photos of his body floating around, as any publication of them will just inspire the inevitable retaliation that much more.

  11. Lemming on May 2, 2011 at 10:13 pm said:

    That was a good read:) Good stuff!

  12. Pathloss on May 3, 2011 at 9:43 am said:

    There’s rumors of an FBI attack on the Osama Huether compound on Saint Charles. They waterboarded Cooper and discovered the parking lot director was his courier. Hopefully, another proud day for democracy.

  13. snooki palin on May 6, 2011 at 7:08 pm said:

    I’m just waiting for more snowgates

Post Navigation