Byron: My customer wants extra crispy bacon on their burger, how do I do that?
Me: Special instruction it.
Byron: But isn’t the bacon pre-cooked, how will it get crispy?
I just walked away . . . quickly.
Young Server (2)
Saundra: Which pot of coffee is the decaf? The orange or the black? Can you tell by the smell?
I just walked away . . . quickly.
Young Server (3)
OVERHEARD CONVO BETWEEN SAID SERVER AND BUSBOY
BB: What’s the difference between suicide and homicide?
Saundra: Suicide is when you are by yourself, homicide is when another person is present.
I just walked away . . . quickly as gunfire roared.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/24/11
Better send that one to Reader’s Digest.
Actually I sent it to the New Yorker instead. I know. I’m an elitist.
These are WAY too good. Thank you for sharing and giving me a good laugh this morning!
When SFPD fired 50 shots killing a veteran with no criminal record, was it suicide or homicide?
Plaintiff Guy/Pathloss/DD, you are a predictable sad sack. Go away. you find a way to drag your cause/argument/grudge against the city in every god damned thread DL posts… He likes you, and I get why.. but you should learn to STFU every now and then and let a few posts go by every day without spewing your rhetoric. BTW, it’s both. Now STFU and go away for a while again. I liked that while it lasted.
PL – Would have to agree with AG on this one. I think we should just wait to see when the investigation is over. IMO, when a police officer is being shot at he or she has the right to shoot back, I’m just saying.
Damn straight the police have a right to fire back! My neighbor two doors over is a cop. He’s a great guy who is very level headed. He’s told me before that the conditions in which an officer can fire their weapon are very strict. It truly is only in life threatening situations–especially if one has been fired upon (not necessarily with a firearm). He has had to use his weapon. While he only injured the perpetrator, he was put on leave and there was a lot of red tape involved. Don’t think for a second that there isn’t mental anguish on the officer’s end, either. You have someone’s life in your hands and the ability to end it if necessary. My neighbor wrestled with these issues. It’s not fun, easy, or rock n roll to shoot someone even if the circumstances warrant it.
On another note, if you think all police officers are redneck and out to fuck with you–think again. Most police officers I’ve met are regular people who love their community and do what they can to make it better. The ass-holes are out there, but this is with any profession or service.
I don’t give a fuck if someone is a veteran, veterinarian, bell ringer for the salvation army, or gives retarded kids rides in wheelbarrows. If you fire upon an officer, expect fire in return.
While my political leanings are generally left, I am very much for gun ownership and rights for defending one’s property and livelihood. We are not the people shooting up high schools and knocking over liquor stores.
Several of my neighbors are gun owners. Some are hunters, some use for protection, and some for both. My father in law collects guns for their beauty and appreciation in value. Although since I married his daughter, I have noticed his collection has been downsized?!
Now, can we let DL get back to his posts about burnt toast and public breastfeeders. I feel better already!
Amen to that.
Amen BJ.
My problem isn’t with the local police; it’s the lazy ass detectives who refuse to do their job.