EGGBERT: Weiner seeks leave of absence from House

Dear fellow Floggers:

Regarding this rather unspeakable, Peter-ugly, Democrat-typical, immoral “wiener event,”

With great regret, I am needing to stand up tall, let ‘em hang, and come clean here – (or as Granny Gumption puts it: “Little Egg-Beater – either shape up & show me your clean balls, or ship out!!!!”). It doesn’t matter that I was indeed one of the all-beef, fully HETROSEXUALIZED victims of CongressManly Antonio Weenie, it’s utmost important that he be locked up to never “weiner” anyone in Congress again.  However gender-confused & difficult this somewhat tragic and newsworthy happenpantstance has been, I admit I had a small if not tiny/puny and wee role in this drama-ramma-dingdong.

I am boldly erect in admitting that I unknowingly giggled and twatted the word weiner more than once on a Pubic Library computer during frequent times this past year while performing extensive research into the vast array of “Weenie-Juice Use as either an Antibiotic, Mood stabilizer and/or Sex hormone in the field of Underground Restaurant Management Survival.”

It seems that now it has been openly revealed  – (or as Gramps Grump coins newsflashes of this largeness: “Uncle Johnson has been un-caged and his wild & wooly and/or cute & cuddly Harvey wall-wanger is now out on the prowl”) that CongressManly Antonio Weenie’s magnificent images and sensitive messages were somehow exchanged with me during the heat of these Pubic Library moments. (Tiger growls & rooaaarrrrrrrrs and then sad Puddy-Cat whimpers & meeeeeowwws!!!!!)

Ok, I know that this very more than one scrotum-sided relationship needed to stop anyhew, but unfortunately, without further gentle Twats, funny Face-spaces, Shudderfly-shares, and Teste messages from my honey-bunny, I  realize that my weenie-juice will just up ‘n dry out and my usually wet-William Staunch Republican Egg-White Stoke-Yoke may  just fall over limp ‘n lewd-nude like…

I hope all is well with you and yours, and may God Bless the Republican parts of the USA !!!

Sincerely,

EggBert and his comrade-in-arms/fingers, Private Harvey Tiberious Johnson, Jr.