The Ugly Table #48

by

POTATOES ARE ROOTS. THEY GROW IN DIRT. DEAL.

C: There is a brown spot in my potato.

ME: I’ll get you a new one.

C: This one has a brown spot to.

ME: That is pretty common.

C: Really?!

ME: (What I wanted to say) Yeah, you numbskull. Potatoes are roots that grow underground in dirt, they have irregularities, such as ‘brown spots’ Sorry we didn’t x-ray your freaking potato first and check it for brown spots. It won’t kill you, in fact some people even eat the skins, which are of course giant brown spots that cover the entire potato. But I’m sure pushing 60 years of age you already knew all of this, so why are you being such a dick?

SIDENOTE: The best part was when his wife told him to shut up after he complained his side of butter and sour cream were touching each other in the same side dish. Sir. You are a brown spot in my life. Go away.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 7/12/11

 

Posted in: Poetry, The Ugly Table

4 Thoughts on “The Ugly Table #48”

  1. denature on July 13, 2011 at 4:27 am said:

    All true except technically it’s a modified stem not root.

  2. l3wis on July 13, 2011 at 12:46 pm said:

    Thank you for the gardening clarification.

  3. Timothy Fountain on July 13, 2011 at 1:54 pm said:

    This one went straight to Facebook. To good to not share.

  4. l3wis on July 13, 2011 at 3:05 pm said:

    See I can be positive once in awhile 🙂 I just like to give credit, where credit is due.

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