By Mitt Kenga • Stormland Endorser News
We recently asked city councilors to explain their vote in reference to the recent termination of city clerk Debra Owan;
THE THREE COUNCILORS THAT VOTED AGAINST HER TERMINATION
Denny Anderson Jr. Junior, “So they caught Debra picking her nose one time during a council meeting. So f’ing what? Oh, I mean, I can’t talk about the details? Sorry.”
Vernon Touchofgrey, “Debra has been my Joan of Ark, and I hope I have been her Knight’s Templar.”
Craig Jammerson, “I thought we were voting on replacing Bob Litz and got confused.”
THEÂ FIVE COUNCILORS THAT VOTED FOR HER TERMINATION
Dan Karskye, “You, know, the business I am in, selling insurance, it is kinda based on speculation. So I used an old insurance company standard, tried and true procedure, the Magic 8-Ball.”
Tim Antenman, “I can’t really go into great detail, but this stems from a deal I made with the Hell’s Angels years ago. Sorry Debra, you just can’t break a deal with these guys.”
Marilyn Erpenslopp, “It’s none of your business. But I will tell you this, my decision was cultivated by integrity, honesty, be-jeweled glasses and a jealously of Debra’s long blonde hair.”
Sue Agriculsure, “Okay, so I had Marilyn yelling at me, and Mike yelling at me, and Denny farting on me and after a three hour meeting I was craving the Diner’s hot turkey sandwich, and I had to just get out of there, so I voted yes . . . or did I vote no? Not sure?”
Tex Golfing, “I’m in the same bizzo as Karskye, and would have to agree, we use some tried and true procedures. But I don’t use the Magic 8-Ball, that’s small potatoes, us big wheels like the Ouija Board.”
THE MAYOR WHO ‘FACILITATED’ THE MEETING
Mike Heeter, “I can tell you f****** honestly that I did not f*** the chicken on this one. I was there to simply make sure s*** was going down correctly. As for the ‘raised voice’ that many people heard beyond the walls. Not sure who that was, but the police were called in to escort that person away.”
MK, “Weren’t you escorted by the police to your vehicle that night?”
Mike Heeter, “**** ***! You ******* re****! Go **** yourself. Make it a good day.”