Eggbert: Dear fellow BIN Floggers

re: Lewis & Clark water pipeline meeting yields little

My neighbors, Ed, Ned, Jed, and Creamy Nugent have a whoppin’ sixty-nine “Build It Nowadays” signs duct-taped all over the outside of their beautiful, newly remodeled 6 and 1/2-story Ranch trailer house, and while suckin’ down BEERskies, smokin’ pipe and leanin’ on each other out at the back fence between our backyards, they reminded me and my family (including ones who live at home, are once removed, extended, ex, incestuous, half, disabled, twice removed, divorced, step, ignorant, cousinly, Christian and even non-Christian Uncle Rusty) to vote to “Build It Nowadays” on Tuesday, November 8th because the Nugents believe that drinkin’ BEERskies at the soon-to-be $200 million dollar fun-center  – watchin’ intelligent and manly men throwin’ a ball into a basket, goal, or net, and godly saints singin’ real pretty on stage  – all while we fall down drunk is much, much more important than even considering spending $200 million on an idiotic, liberal plan to provide obsolete liquid (water – really??? – YUCKY!!!) for 300,000 Sioux Falls area H2O-hoardin’ locals just to keep our tingly body parts moist when BEERskies do the same job. Goodness Gracious, Grampappy Grumpy, what the Hell are ya thinkin’?

Even Granny Gumption knows you can better lube up the ‘ole goofy-golf genitalia holes with MooseHead!

P.I.S.S. – We also don’t need your ignoramusly “old fart” advice on using our cool, hard-earned city/taxpayer money ($200 Million) on wasteful-spending ideas for upgrades to our city’s sewers, roads, parks, police, or fire dept., etc.  So, Gramps, go sit out front in your crappy lawn with your illegal cherry bombs, watch and listen to the cars bounce in and out of potholes, and stick your sewage backup spunk up your butt and shut it the Hell up. Also, be sure to pick up another 3 MooseHead kegs for the weekend – one for Granny, one for Creamy, and one for the rest of us lovable lubers…

Sincerely,

EggBert and family, Nugent neighbors, and fellow Right-wingin’ poor BEERskie-drinkin’ Christians with multitudes of “Built It Nowadays” signs up their whazoooooos’ –