By Detroit Lewis
The city council was presented the final findings of the Urban Ag Committee on Tuesday at the Sioux Falls city council informational meeting.
While many things were presented in a short period of time, council Head Honcho, Lady MacErpenbach decided to cut the meeting short, because, as she stated to me afterwards, “When a woman has to pee, you best get out of her way.”
But not before an intriguing conversation was had by all. Councilor Standfortruth asked Code Enforcement Czar, Shoona Limphammer, who led the Urban Ag Committee, “So were the meetings a TOTAL waste of time, or just a partial waste of time?” To which she replied, “That’s not for me to decide. But if you have over 8.0625″ of grass in your yard, I will make the decision to have the city take you to court or arrest you.”
Councilor Tex Golfing said people have different definitions about a nuisance, “Some people think white old men that still think they are living in the 1950’s are a nuisance, you may disagree. But I have seen a mad chicken, and you can bet me Councilor Starsky’s goat on a spit, they can be a bit of a nuisance.”
Starsky seemed to be confused about the line of questioning, to which he responded, “Bahhhhh.”
Councilor Andyland Jr. brought up pot belly pigs, “So which are they, Shoona? Food or Pets.” Limphammer responded, “That all depends. Have you ever licked the belly of a pot belly pig?” Andyland responded, “Well there was this softball tournament I attended in the South that . . . ah . . . nevermind.”
Councilor Diamond Jim Antiman felt it was your neighbors that should decide everything about your property, “I think you should have a 100% of your neighbor’s approval before you get chickens. Heck I call my neighbors and have them help me pick out my Christmas lights, etc. Heck yesterday, my one neighbor picked out my socks and underwear for me.”
When the topic of how many eggs a chicken can produce in a week came up, councilor Soo Agrisans says, “Is that all?! Maybe the Phillips Avenue Diner needs to get some chickens, just as long as they don’t take up any of my booth space.”
Councilor Craig Jamisun felt that more in depth discussion would happen when the topic comes in front of the land committee. “There will be plenty of time for me to stand on the fence and watch Standfortruth ask endless questions to which no one will answer, Antiman to continue to be in property rights denial, and Golfing to ask the African word definition of a rabbit.”