Okay, it was a little hard getting a hold of the Tooth Fairy, with her busy schedule and all, but she was able to have a short interview with me about her roll in ‘Siding Gate’ and who actually authorized the flat panel installation.
ME: Sorry to interrupt your busy schedule . . .
TF: No problem Detroit, I needed a break anyway. I’m in the middle of editing the Book of Mormon right now, and it’s a stickler.
ME: So tell me how you got involved with authorizing the flat siding on the EC.
TF: See, whenever Mayor Huether needs someone to sign off on something controversial he has a group of us in rotation to pick from, and it was my turn, unfortunately.
ME: A group of you?
TF: Yeah, it’s Me, Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, Mickey Mouse and of course Mark Cotter.
ME: That explains why Mark signed off on the TIF Mayor Huether’s wife got for an apartment project she invested in.
TF: Exactly!
ME: Why did the Mayor consider the flat panels controversial?
TF: You are kidding me? Right?
ME: Uh, No.
TF: See, he had his panties in a bunch about getting the Premier Center done on time and under budget because SMG had this ‘grand’ idea to book acts before they even had the toilets installed, so to cut corners they decided to ditch pre-curved panels for flat ones, saving the city oodles of time and money. You know, it’s all about the present with Mike, that whole doing important things with the day God gave you.
ME: Didn’t he know this would bite him in the butt eventually?
TF: Of course he did, that’s why he had city attorney Fiddle-Faddle draw up a secret settlement and me sign off on the panels. All in a day’s work, I guess, until the SD Supreme Court had to meddle with it.
ME: Well, thanks for clearing that up. BTW, is there any other projects he had you sign off on we should know about?
TF: Not that I can think of. Santa handled the Administration Building and I think the Easter Bunny was involved with the DT Parking Ramp.
ME: What about the Quit Claim Deed on Spellerberg Park?
TF: Uh . . . gotta go . . . the Mormons are calling.
This is satire. The Tooth Fairy does not exist and is a fictional character. Unfortunately the flat panels do exist and look like crap.
We need the Tooth Fairy. Huether is not imaginary. There’s all this debt and bond devaluation.