January 2022

What are these on the Sioux Falls Bike Trail?

There are 2 of these about 300 feet apart from each other on poles along the bike trail downtown about a quarter mile east of the viaducts. Not sure how long they have been there but I think I noticed them last Fall? I am honestly asking the question, What are they?

The front part looks like a surveillance camera but not sure what the other part is. I’m also curious why 2 of them are so close to each other?

Sioux Falls Police Officer gets fired from his part-time food delivery job

Recently Sioux Falls patrol officer Paul Whitechurch got the idea to join a national food delivery company for a side hustle after seeing one of his fellow officers with such a positive experience that took over social media in Sioux Falls.


“I just thought after sitting in my patrol car all day at the skate park it would be a nice change to actually work in a moving car.” said officer Whitechurch “While police work is certainly very fulfilling, what attracted me to this side hustle is the pleasure of delivering fast food to lazy bastards who are willing to pay $10 bucks for me to deliver food from a restaurant a 3 blocks away.”

Whitechurch was surprised that after only a week on the job that the corporate office informed him that he was terminated.

We contacted the office to see if we could figure out why he was terminated so quickly? They sent us a statement;

‘While we try not to talk about why our independent contractors are terminated, we feel Whitechurch broke so many rules we needed to share. His delivery response times were about 3 to 4 times slower than our Sioux Falls average and sometimes he would bring 4-6 friends to assist him with the delivery. He was also caught eating the food he was supposed to deliver and even if he made it in good time, he never wore a mask when in contact with customers. That may fly at his day job, but at our business we take our protocols seriously and they must be followed.’

South Dakota Legislators look to limit Med MJ

Detroit Lewis for Pierre BTT News


While 70% of South Dakota voters approved Medical Marijuana in November of 2020 and the state has worked for over a year to implement rules statewide along with local jurisdictions it hasn’t stopped some legislators from trying to limit it more.

“Initiatives? What are those?” asked Rep Jon Hansjob

I explained to him that petitioners travel across the state to gather thousands of voters signatures just to hopefully have the opportunity to put their initiative on the ballot and if it is able to receive the majority of votes from even thousands more of constituents it becomes law.

Hansjob responded, “What are constituents?”

After another long explanation to him, he replies, “The only laws that count are written by God and the SD GOP Legislative delegation . . . oh, and ALEC.”

I realized I was getting nowhere with Rep Hansjob as he begin to mutter something about bathrooms and started chasing some teenager in a rainbow colored wig while yelling at them ‘TERRORIST’.


I decided to see if I could track down the sponsor of most of these repeal bills, Rep Ted Doutche. I was hoping he would SPILL his guts to me so I could CLEANSE myself of my curiosities about the repeal bills.

While looking for Doutche I ran into Democratic Rep Austin Healey suddenly emerging from a mop closet to ask her what she thought about the MJ repeal bills. She replied, “What was your question about abortion and trans athletes?” Before I could repeat the question, she said, “I think it is perfectly fine for female trans athletes to use Medical MJ while they are pregnant, especially if they are seeking an abortion.”

Before I could ask her how any of that was even biologically possible she returned to the mop closet telling me, “Sorry, I have to return to the caucus meeting.” I asked if I could attend as a member of the press and she said, “While there is plenty of room for you, I would have to deny your request since Rep Lynn Doobage doesn’t like reporters breathing on her. And don’t look her in the eyes, that’s dangerous.”

I finally found Doutche guarding the door of the women’s bathroom with a AR-15. I asked him if any constituents asked him to repeal Med MJ after 70% of voters passed the initiative. Doutche responds, “When you say constituents you mean out of state lobbyists from the Big Pharma? Correct?”

I was going to ask him what voters were but I didn’t want to go down the same path as I did with Hansjob. I asked him, “Besides the lobbyists, what has possessed you to write these authoritarian bills that clearly violates what the voters asked for?” Doutche responds, “Let me fill you in on a little secret. While most reps here will tell you they are inspired by the Bible, Trump, FOX News or Noem, it’s really the circus music playing in our heads that guide us.”

Not sure why the mayor had to have secret meetings about this?

Looks like the DSU deal is being released to the public. Not sure why Mayor Secret Poops had to have a secret meeting with the council about this at city hall. That’s what baffles me about his secrecy sometimes . . . what’s the point? So you want to give $10 million to a public university? And that needs to be kept secret why? Oh that’s right, not to piss off the great one;

Of the $90 million going toward this initiative, $50 million over five years will come from T. Denny Sanford to expand in Sioux Falls; $10 million will come from the city, pending council approval; $250,000 from Forward Sioux Falls for a cyber/IT park in Sioux Falls; $30 million from the state as proposed in Gov. Kristi Noem’s State of the State address, pending legislative approval.

While I certainly don’t discourage DSU building a facility in Sioux Falls AND certain tax dollars going towards higher education, I’m not sure the money should be coming out of the city’s kitty. We can do a lot of infrastructure repairs with $10 million. Which brings us to the other big question, where is this money coming from*? If the city has $10 million laying around to throw at this, it tells me one thing, we are overtaxed. It seems lately the city is just flush in money for all kinds of these kind of projects. Can you imagine how many affordable homes and apartments we could refurbish with $10 Million? Probably well over a 1,000 units combined.

Looks like another handshake deal with the Denny Warbucks and Matty P. where the private sector is dictating where taxpayers should spend their money while our local leaders have secret meetings about it in the basement of city hall. Hopefully the black hoods and candles were donated 🙂

*Speaking of money, I guess councilor Starr was mislead last week about where the $150K is coming from for the Bunker Ramp legal fund. The story going around is that our legal department has a slush fund for litigation like this. I wonder if our city attorney will apologize and correct his statements at the next public meeting?