Poops Text Gate is just the tip of the Iceberg

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After bribing one of HenTaken’s campaign goons with a (fake) autographed picture of Reagan standing next to John Wayne I was given access to Poops future text messages to his followers. Here is a sampling;

‘Village on the River was my fault . . . just kidding.’

‘I was put on laundry duty tonight. Yes, Dutchmen can fold . . . Benjamins!’

‘I will fire another city director today. Big reveal tomorrow!’

‘I have a tramp stamp . . . BLESSED.’

‘Erica has been running the city the past 3 1/2 years. My bad.’

‘Marshall just told me the secret of his success. I forget.’

‘Good luck getting Werther’s candy at HyVee on Minnesota. SOLD OUT!’

‘I will be talking to a random minority group on Thursday. SELFIE MANIA!’

‘COVID is sooooo 2021!’

‘Pinball rocks! The Bonus Round room at StartUp Sioux Falls will pay the yearly rent.’

‘Pride Sioux Falls asked me again to read a proclamation. I feel a family camping trip coming on.’

This is just a sampling of the text messages supporters will receive over the next couple of weeks. Share yours!

Posted in: 1st Amendment, Elections, Humor, Mayor TenHaken, Parody, Political Satire, Satire

13 Thoughts on “Poops Text Gate is just the tip of the Iceberg”

  1. Archie Bunkeramp on February 15, 2022 at 1:04 am said:

    ‘Has anyone seen my tie?’….

  2. Fear & Loathing in Sioux Falls on February 15, 2022 at 1:09 am said:

    ‘I just found Denny’s phone in the cushion cracks of a State Theatre comfy chair’…

  3. Further Fear & Loathing on February 15, 2022 at 1:13 am said:

    ‘The Chief just cut his sideburns. I haven’t been this devastated since TJ leaving me’….

  4. Fearing the Fuhrer & More on February 15, 2022 at 1:16 am said:

    ‘Chick-fil-A is thinking about an Eastside location. Time to exercise some property options’….

  5. Very Stable Genius on February 15, 2022 at 1:37 am said:

    ‘I am the tire spray guy at Silverstar this weekend. 85th & Minnesota. Tips!’…..

    ‘My daughter is starting her own PAC. Donate NOW!’….

    ‘Beck and I fixed the Zamboni with my toolbox’….

    ‘The Dutch Mafia is now hiring for the campaign. Must have own car trunk and crowbar”…

  6. Archie Nemesis on February 15, 2022 at 10:48 am said:

    ‘I accidentally deleted John King’s number. Does anyone else have it?’….

  7. "Woodstock" on February 15, 2022 at 10:56 am said:

    “‘Now, my AirPods are missing, too. HELP!’…..”

  8. Very Stable Genius on February 15, 2022 at 1:11 pm said:

    Okay, I agree this is my last one:

    (The weekend before the April 12th election.)

    ‘This weekend only, get two months of washes for the price of one at Silverstar. Just tell them that MP or Paul sent you. And remember the convenient voting boxes there, too.’

  9. Tip Box on February 15, 2022 at 2:59 pm said:

    Join the police for free Silverstar washes and Chick-fil-A

  10. VSG on February 15, 2022 at 3:27 pm said:

    Oh, I almost forgot. I also want to ask for NTNLIQ’s forgiveness once again. His constant constructive criticism is always appreciated.

  11. Freebee on February 17, 2022 at 4:48 pm said:

    Be a cop, win a 25 year trip

  12. VSG on February 18, 2022 at 9:52 am said:

    Okay, one more:

    ‘Now hiring cops. Landline users preferred’…..

  13. anominous on February 20, 2022 at 2:13 pm said:

    would not surprise if pth had a twitter botnet for his campaign, why not just use that, idk

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