October 2023

We have an image problem in Downtown Sioux Falls

People think the ‘image’ problem we have Downtown is from the homeless and panhandlers, when it’s really something we can’t see! The stench from the packing plant and the train whistles.

Last week while riding through the Cherapa and Sioux Steel District projects at night I was astonished by how incredibly bad it smelled as I stood in front of the Northside condos at Cherapa facing 6th street which are less then a mile from the packing plant. I can’t image having a patio on the Northside of that building and having to smell that every night and morning?

“Hey babe! Fire up the Keurig, I’m going to have a cup of coffee on our new patio. What flavor would you like dear? Pork Belly Cafe’ or Hot Dog Slurry?”

Bet it would go good with a maple bacon topped donut.

That was one of the biggest issues with the Railroad Redevelopment project, it never did anything to mitigate two of the biggest problems we have with redeveloping downtown; train traffic (whistles) and the stench from the manure factory.

Of all the projects that the former mayor screwed up, this was colossal. We had millions of Federal dollars to transform DTSF and we did nothing but hand over a gigantic check to Warren Buffet. I think we should have moved the train switching yard to the Arena/EC site and built the EC and new convention center where the current Cherapa II is located, in fact, the developer was banking on it.

Joe Kirby writes a great article about the lack of transparency surrounding the new prison. I have purposely tried not to write about it, because the lack of transparency is predictable with these folks and is beginning to sound like a broken record that has been playing in Pierre for over 50 years of one party rule.

The old prison will likely remain. A state legislator recently mentioned on the TDS podcast that the state just spent $6 million on the Jameson Annex medical facilities, which tells her that the facility will continue to be used for low security inmates after the new prison opens.

What about Smithfields? I think the Feds and the State and even the city had an opportunity here to pressure the closure of the facility for good during the pandemic. But my understanding of the situation was the Feds had to keep it open due to critical infrastructure (food production) even though a large percentage of pork produced at the facility likely goes to China (you know, because they like own the place.)

Let’s just say that bulldozing the current pen, Smithfields and every fricking train crossing in DTSF would be a very heavy lift considering two of the problems are controlled by Federal easements, etc. You would think having the 3rd most powerful person in the Senate being from our state we could get some movement on at least the train issue?

This town passes up opportunities like this quite consistently. Both Mayors Hanson and Munson toyed with a new east/west route thru the country club properties and were shot down. I still think you could arrange a 5 lane thoroughfare thru the center of the courses without disrupting most of the property. The amount of traffic that would be diverted would be monumental and would cut a lot of commutes in half mileage wise.

I’m still not sure where Veteran’s Parkway goes? I joked this summer when I had to drive on it going to Brandon that they replaced Huset’s Speedway with the Veteran’s Speedway.

Maybe there is a less valuable and less controversial location available. Or maybe this Lincoln County site is the best one available. It’s hard to know without more transparency.

And Kirby points out the crux of our problems, it’s not ugly old prisons and a stinky noisy downtown that is hampering development, it’s government’s lack of sunshine.

And when it comes to open government, as the panhandler’s sign says, ‘Anything Helps!’

Walking ‘DEAD’ Tacos latest Sioux Falls Fast Food Trend

A couple that recently moved here from Transylvania via California (long story) has come up with an interesting Fast Mexican concept; Zombies and Tacos.

“My wife and I just decided that getting served at most fast casual restaurants in town is like being waited on by Zombies, so we just decided, why not just make it the theme of the restaurant,” says co-owner Victor Count.

Victor does warn you, most orders take between 2 hours to 2 days. “We have one customer that orders his Wednesday lunch on Monday afternoons. He is pretty happy, usually gets it by Friday!”

We wondered how hard it may be to find good zombie (actors) these days to work in the Count’s establishment.

“You know. Not as hard as you may think. Sylvia and I drove around to the different fast food places a day before training started and we were able to round up a full staff within a couple of hours. The trick was catching new recruits by the dumpsters smoking weed . . . those are the real foot draggers!”

Victor did inform me that they also have a pretty good supply of Narcan on hand for employees and customers. “Some places carry Dental and Vision, we carry fricking life support!”

The Counts also plan to be open 24 hours like that ‘other’ Mexican(?) food joint and unlike them, you don’t have to worry about being shot in the drive thru or parking lot.

“Not only is our location well lit we don’t have a lot of people trying to rob us at gun point when our employees are already dead. During the last robbery attempt the perp served half his prison sentence before the manager could even open the safe.”

City of Sioux Falls ‘Paint the Plows’ goes crucifix free for the first time in years!

Imagine my surprise this year when I perused the plows and saw NO crosses painted on them?! I hope our public works department can manage plowing our streets without the Savior to guide them?

But of course, there were a couple of absconders that still had to push the envelope in their quest to convert us all to good Bible loving boys and girls while we navigate the winter streets. I think O’Gorman had the most clever by recreating a scene from the Sistine Chapel by adding elements of a Metallic Album cover;

Lars would be proud!

And apparently God is like a big supreme pizza with a zipper in it (the rumor is Heaven smells like a NYC Pizzeria with just a pinch of English Lavender!)

Even the Mayor’s family got out the paintbrushes;

I guess the boss vetoed the original design of a naked native gentleman taking a nap in a snowbank (and those stick arms on the snowman could be misconstrued as crucifixes!)

But you gotta hand it to the only private Christian school that decided to go with a Jaws theme this year and give up on the conversion therapy via snowplow (they must be reading Leviticus right now).

The most amazing part to me is that all these news organizations cover this event, and they should, but none of them ask the lingering 1st Amendment question about separation of church and state. I’m wondering if they would have staged a food truck by the event yesterday we could get the news crews to show up and do an actual story about this. And BTW, what happened to the disclaimer signs!?

Personally if I ever had to paint one of these plows I would go with the classic Man Ray image;