Sioux Falls Annual ‘High Tea’ meeting happened last week

While we like to jest here about the ‘Tale of Two Cities’ and the incredible income gap that exists in this community, there is a group of gents in this town that don’t let those things bother them. Some have referred to them as the ‘City Fathers’. I refer to them as ‘Developer Welfare Queens’.

Someone recently said to me, “You know how people say the Developers run this town? Well they do.” And while this statement is thrown around figuratively a lot, I got the feeling this person meant it literally.

You know the conspiracy; there is a secret cabal of very influential and powerful people running this community. If they are not at a secret board meeting they are attending the monthly key club gathering or receiving a relaxing ‘massage’ after a pressing game of golf.

I think my friend Jade refers to this as ‘Hookers and Cake’.

There are so many stories I am surprised no one has written a romance/mystery novel about it, and I am not talking about meeting your dreamboat at a tire change shop.

To often I hear snippets with no concrete evidence ever putting the supposed ‘fathers’ in the supposed ‘places’ at the supposed ‘times’.

I know, frustrating, and to tell you the truth, I have given up knowing I would never be invited to one of these gatherings.

In fact, I was invited to one of these gatherings a few years back, and the host who invited me got quite the ribbing about it. While no one approached me and asked how I snuck in, after the event the host had a lot of explaining to do. I played dumb when people told me about it. I just said, ‘I was there for the free apps and drinks, could care less what was discussed.’

Of course, at such public/private events the nitty gritty on how to control the minions in this town doesn’t come up in a casual conversation, those things happen in private, PRIVATE. And that is exactly what happened last week.

I guess the cabal of tired old fathers in town had their annual ‘High Tea’ this past week, or is it next week? It is hard to keep track.

The snarky title of their annual soiree doesn’t escape me;

High tea is a working-class meal eaten around five o’clock onwards, usually consisting of a hearty meal and a pot of tea. 

These group of folks wouldn’t know working class if it hit them like a $25 million dollar TIF.

So what was discussed? You know, the normal run of the day city operations like; massive tax rebates and TIFs for underserving luxury housing projects, keeping wages as low as possible, keeping affordable housing and food availability low, fill just enough pot holes to make it appear the city is doing something to fix our streets, avoid de-icing and plowing residential streets properly, make it very expensive to get a seat on the city council, de-regulate zoning laws, divvy up the dead animals from Lenin’s Tomb, monopolize garbage hauling, kill any and all moves towards sustainability, and make sure there are hundreds of plaques memorializing the incredible contributions of these robber barons.

So did any of this really happen? Who knows. I am just having a little fun speculating what it must be like to be a part of this extremely compassionate group 🙁 and if anyone asks me if I ever attended one of these meetings, my answer is always the same, “I’m just here for the free apps and drinks.” (and if you are really lucky you can catch a toke from one of the caterers back by the dumpsters).

SIOUX FALLS CITY COUNCIL TO GET AN UPDATE ON MIDDLE EAST CONFLICT

So what’s next?

Briefing from the Israeli Consulate to the Midwest by Itai Biran, Consul for Political & Commercial Affairs, Consulate General of Israel to the Midwest

Maybe we should invite someone from Border Patrol to give us an update on the Southern Border crisis, or maybe we could invite the Secretary of Transportation and have a public meet and greet with him . . . wait . . .

I make my feelings known on the conflict, I support neither side, because of my strong feelings on diplomacy.

While I found the presentation odd for a local governing body, I can’t help thinking this may rub the Arab community the wrong way. Was a representative from the Palestinian government invited to also speak on the conflict?

Oh, Scott, you know the answer to that question.

I’m sure this will be our next city council presentation.