Due to the Great Bear season being like 3 or 4 days this year, the city feels guilty so they decided to open all the outdoor pools next week.
Some may think it is to cold, but Secondary Shift Eastside Assistant Parks and Culture director, (SSEAPC) Taylor Tuna, with the parks department says this;
“Cold water therapy is really trending right now, so like pickleball, refrigerated ice rinks and E-Bikes, we like to do the latest trending baloney people are into.”
But not all of the water will be cold, they also plan to heat the lazy river at Drake Springs with E-Bike battery fires.
Director Tuna says, “Instead of wasting fire department resources to put out these fires, we are just transferring those fires to the pool’s heating unit. Even a stable genius can figure that out.”
The Parks Department is considering closing Great Bear as a ski resort and making it a natural space. We asked what they would do with the chair lift?
“We are considering installing it above Falls Park, and when it is really humid after an August rain, we are going to implement a goose manure slide from the Steel District all the way to the overlook tower. Tuna replies, “That stuff is slicker then cooking oil after a good rain.”
So get out the swim trunks and puffy coats! Summer begins in Sioux Falls next week!
This was satire. I think.
To cold, or not to cold. That is the question.
Trending public policy is a good way to run government. That way, the squeaky wheels always think their getting a good lube job.
A nice pair of cowboy boots is the best way to put out an e-bike fire.
( and Woodstock adds: “Well, you would probably know”….. )
“…. transferring those fires to the pool’s heating unit” might be tricky, but then again, what do I know? I would think it would be easier, however, to keep the fires on the bike trail, and then use them to get the wood going so the multiple can goods found on the trail, which were meant for free distribution, can be adequately cook… There’s nothing like the aroma of a burning battery to help accent your baked beans…. #ATouchOfLithiumCobaltOxidePlease
Struggle to hire lifeguards every year because of Mean Jean.