South DaCola

BREAKING: Noem changes course on National Guard

In a rare Noem leadership moment it seems she has admitted to flubbing the National Guard response. In a short briefing just moments ago in front what appeared to be a gravel pit with the sound of a goat’s bell in the distance chiming she states;

“When I first made the decision to blame county commissioners for not sending out the National Guard, uh, I mean, tell people I’m short on cash, I mean, well, doesn’t matter I have decided to change course.”

One reporter asked if this has anything to do with the blowback she received because she sent the NG to Texas so why not to McCook?

“It had nothing to do with that, and once again the liberal legacy state media bias is bubbling up. I changed course because I realized the flood waters are stealing South Dakota jobs, smuggling drugs into our state (mostly fertilizer laced manure) and killing and raping our children. I have declared WAR on the flood waters.”

Noem quickly stormed off before taking any more questions with what appeared to be a trucker hat that read ‘MAKE SD DRY AGAIN’.

*This article was satire.

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