Get out your feather boas and unicorn saddles, because Sweet Vernon ‘The Velvet Hammer’ Brown is in the HOUSE!
While I have been telling you over the past, oh, I don’t know, 3 years that Kermit is the man, I came to the realization that we need someone sensitive in the mayor’s seat, and Vernon is the man. NOT KERMIT. Who else has;
• Taken taxpayer money to bailout the zoo
• Flip-flopped on tax increases (cuz, god dammit, those developers need help)
• Talked about how adorable his daughter is one too many f’ing times.
• Cries about not having an indoor pool on a daily basis.
• Deletes blog comments on his site.
• Claims to be a fiscal conservative while advocating a million dollar rhino barn and flamingo shed.
I could go on an on about all of his experience as a KELO-TV jokalist and a marketing manager for some communications outfit, but why bore you with his inexperience? Just vote for Vernon, and he will read you a bedtime story on Channel 16 every night and tuck you in while a silhouette of an American Flag waves in the background. Don’t hold back, vote with your heart, not with you head.
How many Twinkies did you have tonight?
Nope, more like Ding-Dongs.
april fools!
You are a fool if you don’t vote for Vernon.
Too obvious… you should have been more subtle with the April Fools joke.
YEAH! you should have said something like you are going to pull the plug on South Dacola… that would have been hilarious!
Still might. But I am going to out all you A-holes the day before.
Now that would be truly HILARIOUS!
“he will read you a bedtime story on Channel 16 every night and tuck you in while a silhouette of an American Flag waves in the background.”
Everything but the American Flag. Here, Democracy has been replaced with Home Rule Dictatorship.
It’s time for Vernon to have another kid, to occupy his time, that way he won’t be so wrapped up with his one kid.