Before the 2000 Presidential election, my Aunt Bertha correctly picked our warm and caring Vice-President Dick Cheney as the our beloved President Bush’s running mate. My Uncle Rusty thinks someone should give a Keg of Karl’s Home-brewed Turd-Blossom Hooch to her as a prize for doing so. Granny Gumption has drunken that drink for the past 8 years. Grandpappy Gumption (known more affectionately as “Gumpa Grumpy Gump”) told us that after a particular wild night of Turd-Blossom Hooch-sipping with the girls a few years back, Granny stumbled onto North Phillups Avenue (in the prestigious, pre-developed area of Uptown Sioux Falls), pulled her panties up high around her belly, and showed her old and saggy woman’s baby-making processes (for more than the allotted period of 5 minutes) to our beloved Mayor Munskin’s famous Phillup’s-to-the-Falls plaque. Upon hearing of the disturbance, the Mayor and city council ordered the Under-Cover Carnegie Citizen-Copper to escort Granny downtown for booking. She was given some rolls, coffee, spent some time playing chess with Mayor-ess Dee, then was released under her own recognizance when bail was posted by State Senator Roger’s Hunt. After extensive counseling by Pastor Steve, Granny’s charges of displaying inappropriate Pro-Life private parts were later dropped as Dr. and Mrs. Unrugggh leaped into the spotlight to save the day to threatened a petition initiative against the city (AND, of course, Planned Parenting Hood…why not?) for trying to prevent Granny Gumption’s right to promote abstinence education to the youth of KELO-Land.
Unfortunately, Gumpa Grumpy Gump won’t allow Granny Gumption any more Turd-Blossom Hooch because he thinks her baby-making processes should just stay put under her panties. My worry is this – NOW what will the “Alpha Team” do next to keep their sexual issue crisis-fight alive? Don’t even think for a minute that Gumpa Grumpy is going to show off his Gargantuan Gumption Gonads to help their cause…he is a free-thinking liberal.
I belive I called the veep spot for Biden last week. Do I get a prize?
Yeah, maybe I’ll buy you a Howard Dean Lite.
Before the 2000 Presidential election, my Aunt Bertha correctly picked our warm and caring Vice-President Dick Cheney as the our beloved President Bush’s running mate. My Uncle Rusty thinks someone should give a Keg of Karl’s Home-brewed Turd-Blossom Hooch to her as a prize for doing so. Granny Gumption has drunken that drink for the past 8 years. Grandpappy Gumption (known more affectionately as “Gumpa Grumpy Gump”) told us that after a particular wild night of Turd-Blossom Hooch-sipping with the girls a few years back, Granny stumbled onto North Phillups Avenue (in the prestigious, pre-developed area of Uptown Sioux Falls), pulled her panties up high around her belly, and showed her old and saggy woman’s baby-making processes (for more than the allotted period of 5 minutes) to our beloved Mayor Munskin’s famous Phillup’s-to-the-Falls plaque. Upon hearing of the disturbance, the Mayor and city council ordered the Under-Cover Carnegie Citizen-Copper to escort Granny downtown for booking. She was given some rolls, coffee, spent some time playing chess with Mayor-ess Dee, then was released under her own recognizance when bail was posted by State Senator Roger’s Hunt. After extensive counseling by Pastor Steve, Granny’s charges of displaying inappropriate Pro-Life private parts were later dropped as Dr. and Mrs. Unrugggh leaped into the spotlight to save the day to threatened a petition initiative against the city (AND, of course, Planned Parenting Hood…why not?) for trying to prevent Granny Gumption’s right to promote abstinence education to the youth of KELO-Land.
Unfortunately, Gumpa Grumpy Gump won’t allow Granny Gumption any more Turd-Blossom Hooch because he thinks her baby-making processes should just stay put under her panties. My worry is this – NOW what will the “Alpha Team” do next to keep their sexual issue crisis-fight alive? Don’t even think for a minute that Gumpa Grumpy is going to show off his Gargantuan Gumption Gonads to help their cause…he is a free-thinking liberal.
Sincerly,
EggBert Tiberius G.