The city’s program of healthy stairwell stalking now in place…

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To all of you liberal, anti-life extremist, free-thinking drunken bloggers out there, below is a must read for you. Attending this event could change your lives from evil and politically incorrect citizens to respectful followers of faith and good citizenship. The city administration in Sioux Falls, SD, has once again taken the lead in quality health care for its citizens and employees. 

A message on the city website from our beloved city Human Resources (who are equal and fair to all employees and citizens involved in this great city) is below:

http://www.siouxfalls.org/News/2008/August/25/stairwell_healthy_habits

 

Date:

8/25/2008

From:

Human Resources

Title:

City Hall Stairwell Makeover Encourages Healthy Habits

   

The City of Sioux Falls has taken another step forward in developing and implementing their objectives and strategies to support a comprehensive worksite health and wellness program. City Hall remodeled its back stairwell to encourage employees to stay fit by taking the stairs instead of the elevator. City leaders hope attractive colors and inspirational quotes painted in the stairwell will motivate employees to take small steps toward better fitness.

The project comes from recommendations made by the Center for Disease Control in its “Healthier Worksite Initiative.” By taking the stairs every day, employees can raise their heart rates and build strength, agility, and flexibility. Their increased movement will also give them more energy and save the City energy costs, according to Health and Wellness Coordinator Rana DeBoer.

To encourage employees to tour the renovated stairwell, the Wellness Program will hold an open house at City Hall on Wednesday, August 27. The day’s goal will be to have employees collectively climb enough stairs to equal the length of a hike up Mount Everest.

If successful, the celebration will continue on Friday, August 29 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., with snow cones and prize drawings in the main lobby of City Hall.

—–

NOTE: Many pots of coffee and rolls, backrubs from Mayor-ess Dee, snow cones, and prize drawings for free “sex-crisis” appointments with  Pastor Steve and the Alpha Team will be available on Friday. I am bringing my entire family (except Uncle Rusty, who has opted instead to fly down to Denver in the morning to add his mental powers in making the Denver Mint levitate) to City Hall this week for fun and exercise in walking the new stairwell and eat healthy snacks and drink addictive but tasty beverages.

Join us, won’t you?  

Sincerely,

EggBert T. F.

– Below is a photo (of course, BEFORE the current city’s program of healthy stairwell stalking was in place) of Aunt Bertha and fellow women city sewage workers taking part in an earlier but similar city health program called  “Healthy Days of Sioux Falls Yore.” with the mission to shape up citizens and employees. City council-men and administrators STOOD UP and watched the women sweat, toil, make babies, and kill for their family to survive.  How times have changed, huh?

 

Pyhrric Dance

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8 Thoughts on “The city’s program of healthy stairwell stalking now in place…”

  1. admin on August 26, 2008 at 9:02 pm said:

    The snow cone line at the end almost killed me.

  2. EggBert on August 26, 2008 at 9:07 pm said:

    Mr. admin: Be sure to come on down to the city hall stairwell so that snow cone won’t kill you. Thank you for your reply to my post. Now giddy-up those steps!!!

    Sincerely,

    EggBert T.F…

  3. Johnny Roastbeef on August 26, 2008 at 9:33 pm said:

    Can I still get free snow cones and prizes without going up all them steps?

  4. l3wis on August 27, 2008 at 5:38 am said:

    Here’s an inspirational quote,

    “Hey fatty, stop eating so much.”

  5. Angry Guy on August 27, 2008 at 6:42 am said:

    I love how a stairwell open house gets more notice than the public forum they hosted last weekend.

  6. Ghost of Dude on August 27, 2008 at 6:54 am said:

    So what happens if they take more than their alloted five minutes to climb the stairs?

  7. l3wis on August 27, 2008 at 7:24 am said:

    Since General Jamison is retired maybe they could recruit him to run drills on the stairwell.

  8. EggBert on August 28, 2008 at 9:28 pm said:

    Since there has been nothing good on TV this past week (sitcom and drama reruns and no reality shows – darn it!), I have spent hours upon hours from 4-10PM the past 4 nights watching our beloved City Channel 16 (City Linkster) – and I have now found a home. My Aunt Bertha is in love with constant-host Reid Holsen, and as a green-eyed way of lusty revenge against her, my Uncle Rusty has announced plans to hook up with frequent-hostess Jodi Schwanns at LifeFlight this weekend. Also, my family and I are so proud that while my Niece Nellie meets with Pastor Steve this weekend about her hurtful impregnated baby-making process crisis, her boyfriend Petey Schwetty says he is heading out to LifeFlight this weekend to do some serious “baptizations” of young, mislead women he encounters. It is good to see Petey finally getting his Christian act together. My Gramps Grump Gump told us last night, before tucking him into bed in the extra basement closet he sleeps in, “Protect yourselves out there, because the Sioux Falls LifeFlight is the number one annual Christian hook-up place in KELO-LAND. However, NEVER FEAR, the Alpha Team is here. Onward Christian Soldiers!”

    Most of us in the family thinks Gramps is either drunk or stupid or both, so never mind him. God’s Truest Blessings this LifeFlight Holiday weekend!

    Sincerely,

    EggBert T. F. I…

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