Upon watching the Republican Vice -Presidential nominee announcement on Friday afternoon’s FOX news , my Aunt Bertha, upon first gaze –  was immediately love-stricken by the V.P. woman’s husband – immediately giving him the title of “Toddy, the GOP First Dude V.P. Nominee-VAVAVOOM hotty!”Â
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Palin
She immediately became obsessively lustful regarding his robust-BP-oily, fishermanly, lumberjack-ish, hunter-esque, snowmachine-like hotty Toddy body. Bertha immediately used her Bullroar call on SD Governor Rounders and received his permission to use the SD state plane (he owed it to her) – wink, wink), taking an immediate flight that day to the First Dude’s home town of Dillingham, Alaska with the intention immediately stealing him from the Alaskan runner-up beauty contest Governor.  In a fit of touching, yet green-hued revenge-like behavior, Uncle Rusty called his buddy T. Dennis (over at Stanford Hospital) to borrow one of their helicopters, professionally piloted it at high-velocity toward his beloved’s SD state worker piloted plane, landed the helicopter in daring fashion on top of the state plane as it was crossing the North Dakota border, threw down a rope-ladder, crawled down the rope, ripped open the plane’s hatch with his bare teeth, grabbed Aunt Bertha in feverish pitch, slapped her hard in the face ten times to snap her out of her immature obsession, hauled her up the rope into the helicopter, and flew at break-neck speed to their home in sunny Sioux Falls, SD.  They lovingly apologized giving each other Eskimo-kisses and then drank up a bottle of Alaskan hooch in celebration of their enduring love for each other.   Below is a photograph of them fondly making up, with Gramps Grump assisting…
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This entire, wonderful ordeal should be a reminder to us all that not only is Beauty in the eye of the beholder, but that **it’s only knee deep…
Sincerely,
EggBert T. F. I. G.