EggBert

The city’s program of healthy stairwell stalking now in place…

EggBert August 26, 2008 8Comments

To all of you liberal, anti-life extremist, free-thinking drunken bloggers out there, below is a must read for you. Attending this event could change your lives from evil and politically incorrect citizens to respectful followers of faith and good citizenship. The city administration in Sioux Falls, SD, has once again taken the lead in quality health care for its citizens and employees. 

A message on the city website from our beloved city Human Resources (who are equal and fair to all employees and citizens involved in this great city) is below:

http://www.siouxfalls.org/News/2008/August/25/stairwell_healthy_habits

 

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NOTE: Many pots of coffee and rolls, backrubs from Mayor-ess Dee, snow cones, and prize drawings for free “sex-crisis” appointments with  Pastor Steve and the Alpha Team will be available on Friday. I am bringing my entire family (except Uncle Rusty, who has opted instead to fly down to Denver in the morning to add his mental powers in making the Denver Mint levitate) to City Hall this week for fun and exercise in walking the new stairwell and eat healthy snacks and drink addictive but tasty beverages.

Join us, won’t you?  

Sincerely,

EggBert T. F.

– Below is a photo (of course, BEFORE the current city’s program of healthy stairwell stalking was in place) of Aunt Bertha and fellow women city sewage workers taking part in an earlier but similar city health program called  “Healthy Days of Sioux Falls Yore.” with the mission to shape up citizens and employees. City council-men and administrators STOOD UP and watched the women sweat, toil, make babies, and kill for their family to survive.  How times have changed, huh?

 

Biden is no Cheney and he doesn’t know Squat!!!

EggBert August 22, 2008 0Comments

When my Uncle Rusty saw this OBama Vice-Presidential selection article on the internets a few moments ago – http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/V/VEEPSTAKES SITE=SDSIO&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT  (Uncle Rusty stays up late worrying about current events and such – and my Aunt Bertha thinks he likes current events more than both her sexual overtones and bedroom games – as this early-in-their-courtship, not-leaving-much-to-the-imagination, erotically-charged photo illustrates…)

– he came over to my house and woke me up as I dreamt of a Republican new world order.  In-turn, I immediately informed Granny Gumption (since she lives close by in my extra bathroom in the basement), who stated that she has heard of Biden and says “Biden is no Cheney and he doesn’t know Squat!!!” So I think an Obama-Biden ticket sounds like a losing team to me – now it is time to wake up McCane and get him a partner who can stand up on two feet, play ball of some kind, and regulate himself enough to stimulate the economy and continue this old-age Middle-East war dance.   I hope Bill O’Riledupy gets the nod as McCane’s VP candidate as he is a true cult warrior!!!  Either way, the only way the Republicans will lose is if a woman is picked. Speaking for all of women-kind, Aunt Bertha reminds us often that if a woman was Vice-President, her woman’s baby-making processes and menstruation motorcycle “would not be pretty” on the furniture and floors of the Presidential Ovul offices.

Sincerely,

EggBert T.

 

Disrespect shown to our BELOVED Mayor and Council Members IS OUT of BoUnDs!

EggBert August 18, 2008 5Comments

Although neither I nor my family attended or watched tonight’s city council meeting (why would we when we follow our leaders, unlike certain other ornery kind), my Next-door Neighbor Nugent watched part of tonight’s city council meeting on city channel 16 (our proud tax-payer owned station that feeds us what we want to hear) and leaned over across the fence in our backyard and told us that what he saw tonight was a fancy-pantsed, no-good liberal hippy (wearing artsy-fartsy headgear, no less) talking WAyyyyyyyyy past the 5-minute century-old, for-the-good-of-the-city, citizen “blow off steam-yak” rule.  If he can’t communicate his unpatriotic whines to the council in a period of 5 minutes, then he is not entitled to speak up about anything – period.  We don’t live in France, for Pete’s sake!!! And for this person to be so totally disrespectful to the mayor and the city council members by taking so much of THEIR time at this very important meeting…well, it is just a dirty-rotten shame. He should rot in Hell for it.  My Aunt Bertha about let out her famous ear-wrenching Mid-West “BULLROAR” yelp that would have shook the bike-trail ground that righteous hippy rode his bike in on. Well, it is a good thing that Next-door Neighbor Nugent intervened, calmed down my Aunt Bertha (since Uncle Rusty can’t do much as he was inside wasting his time watching stupid TV channel CNN news – shhhheeeeesh!), and then showed us this old photo (below) of him choking a chicken a few years back when he was angry at another citizen who pushed the city too far (when someone accused our beloved former council member, Harry Wingdinger, of sexual exploration when he was only trying to research the city’s youth culture to find out if they prefer indoor or outdoor swimming pools). Next-door Neighbor Nugent told then told us that if a copper don’t take away that hippy and fricassee his heinie the next time he goes over the allotted 5-minutes at a future meeting, then my Next-door Neighbor Nugent might ask his favorite council member “Big Homeboy Bob” to assist him with passing a city ordinance whereas chicken-choking would be legalized once again in this fair city of ours.

Anyway, here is the link to tonight’s attempt one hippy’s attempt at an unpatriotic revolution if you want to watch it.   http://siouxfalls.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=2&clip_id=651

Sincerly,

EggBert T.

  

Once again, GWB delivers what we need, when most we think we need it…

EggBert July 11, 2008 0Comments

Regarding this recent utmost important news story – http://youtube.com/watch?v=LKxC_X5UPnM

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President Bush signed FISA legislation into law following brief remarks.

Reading from a prepared statement, Bush said, “Almost seven years have past since that september morning when nearly 3,000 men, women, and children were murdered in our midst. The attack changed our country forever. We realized america was a nation at war. Against a ruthless and persistent enemy. We realized that these violent extremists would spare no effort to kill again.”

“And in the aftermath of 9/11, few would have imagined that we would be standing here seven years later without another attack on american soil. The fact that the terrorists have failed to strike our shores again does not mean that our enemies have given up.”

“To the contrary, since 9/11 they’ve plotted a number of attacks on our homeland. Like members standing up here, I receive briefings on the very real and very dangerous threats that america continues to face. ”

“The most important lessons learned after 9/11 was that america’s intelligence professionals lack some of the tools they needed to monitor the communications of terrorists abroad. it’s essential that our intelligence committee know who our enemies are talking to, what they’re saying, and what they’re planning.”

This video is from CNN’s Newsroom, broadcast July 10, 2008.

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My Aunt Bertha thinks that GWB he is “dreamy,” (NOTE – this early photo below – of her admiring him years ago back while he worked for the Texas National Guard – was snapped by my often-jealous, Uncle Rusty)

 

and I think that President George Bush, Jr. is the absolute BEST president in the history of North America. His dad is a close second, but with this wonderful wiretap bill that has passed, I feel so much safer from  eavesdropping terrorist scum while I am on the phone.  Just imagine, we now –  thanks to our esteemed President Bush and our wonderful legislators – can talk on the phone in peace without threats of phone torture, WMD, and waterboarding, etc.!!!  Landsakes, it is good to be living in a free society!!! Hail Bush! 

Sincerely, EggBert