Author Archives: Eggbert

How are you all feeling today, everyone?

To my regret, I have to mention here that earlier this afternoon, my Aunt Bertha and my neighbor, Creamy Nugent got in a rather bloody, violent, and sometimes highly sensual barnstomin’ family CAT-FIGHT (meowwwwrrrrrrrr)

over the current hot political news topic the entire nation (the Republican sane ones, at least) of this our United States is discussing at this time: 

WHO IS THE MOST beloved rightly-so- leaning Caucasianal Conservativ Anti-HealthCare Reform Leave-It-As-It- Is-Hunks is the most stunning & lovely in their longjohns and/or speedos…

1) Creamy Nugent’s Healthy choice to hopefully someday introduce her very own Pussy and Pubes to – South Dakota’s West-Riverized, home-grown Hunksterating Machine, Senator Johnny Randy Tune…

Or 2) , Aunt Bertha’s choice of Health “coverage,”  the lust of her life, Alaska-ified Super Hottie Toddy Palladin (Sarah the Brain-filled Great’s Hunkster Hubby) & his kill-it-eat-it platform of horny healthy care…

Play along at home, folks.  YOU CHOOSE.  Or better yet, attend a local town hall meeting on Anti-Healthcare Transform-Reformers & let our Republican Congressmen LOUDLY know about whom you choose –

Sadly, neither Aunt Bertha nor Creamy can afford Health Insurance, so they couldn’t get their bodily scars & cuts neither sewn up or stitched in the P. Penny Sanford & Son’s Hospitalization Emergency Trauma 5 System due to their lack of comprehensive funds, so they will each wear their “Cat-Fight” scars forever proudly below their belts – – – but the good news is that they did MAKE UP in the standard but brief “EggBert Family Erotica Encounter,” a candlelight dinner, & then took time to happily pose for a therapeutic- healing photo outside the Sioux Falls Super 8…

Sincerly,

EggBert & the EggBert Family Basic Health Plan of Co-Play…

 Hi there:

My Granny Gumption got this just wonderful & factually forecastable & informative email from her half-cousin, Barbara Bush-Bunny Moulton from Walton’s Mountain MoleHill, SD:

This is a Great Picture from the future year of 2012 and the guy with his back to the camera seems to know what he is talking about.

So I said to him back in 2009, “Barack, I know U.S. Healthcare issues,

and you ain’t got know U.S. Healthcare issues!”

—- Signed, President John Randolph Tune, 2012

Dear fellow Republicans:

YIPPEY SKIPPY!!!  It was just announced!  Can you believe it? Who KNEW? Our beloved and esteemed SD Senator, John Tune, is PROBABLY NO DOUBT PRETTY MUCH running for President against O’Bummer in 2012.

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Health-Care/ss/events/pl/061909healthcare;_ylt=A0LEVIWhVXtKaz8AGY4PxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTExamxoMWc5BHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMgRjb2xvA3JlNAR2dGlkAwRsA1dTMQ–/im:/090801/photos_pl_afp/5d9fe6763cdb05b62f4b87ae6eb42f99/

US Senator John Thune, seen here in February 2009, a South Dakota Republican seen as a possible 2012 presidential candidate, said in the party’s weekly radio address that “Republicans want healthcare reform that works. Reform that brings down costs for families and small businesses, and reform that provides better care to more people.“(AFP/Getty Images/File)

Greetings, my friends:

Granny Gumption’s has offered up her Worthy (Bitchin’) News of the Day – July 17, 2009: 

“Nothin’ in the Argus Leader today about that wacko black dead singer kid, thank the Lord our God & Savior J.C. Christ Almighty, but  this was in interesting article for sure -I read it while eatin’ my Prune juice & Fruit Loops and touchin’ myself in places that make my titties tingle.

http://www.ipsos-na.com/news/pressrelease.cfm?id=4401 

Don’t get me wrong, Ripa’s a peach, but I would still much rather have a bunkmate of the likes of Cloris Leachman in my vacation rental home. Yum, Yum…”

Oh, now tsk, tsk, Granny Gumption.  WTF. I would actually think of our beloved teapot salesman, Allen Unrrrrguuughhh or T. Penny Sanford’s sidekick, Kelby Krappenhoft would be my top choices for bunkmates. Just think of the purity of the conversation (and make out sessions) we could have…

Sincerely,

EggBert & vacation rental home celebrity bunkmate wet dreams…

Dear Good Citizens of the United States of these Americas:

As a thankful typical American family, we celebrated our beloved country’s ass-kicking 543rd birthday yesterday THE AMERICAN WAY by getting drunk, eatin’ a few dogs, drinkin’ some brewskies, watchin’ baseball, shootin’ small rodents, suckin’ down some cold ones & snappin’ photos of our family’s WTF? festive weekend journey of events (WTF? = What The Footlong?) 

JUST WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME, YA COMMIE-LOVIN’ WOMEN-LIBBIN’ ANTI-PATRIOTIC ARTSY FARTSY GAY-WAD & COLORED-LOVIN’ PRO-ABORTION ATHEISTICIN’ HIPPIES???

Sincerely,

EggBert WTF? Family & Neighbors