EggBert

HAPPY CHRISTIAN-ONLY EASTER from the EGGBERT FAMILY – 2009!!!

EggBert April 12, 2009 2Comments

HAPPY EASTER, FELLOW CHRISTIANS!!!

(NOT you un-Christian fags, liberals, atheists, catholics, anti-patriots, non-smokers, artsy-fartsy artists, baptists, lesbos, non-whites, hippies, gun-haters, Jews, non-chiropracters, Obamamuslims, eskimos, vegetarians,  non-sheep, etc.)

Below are snapshots of our wonderful, enchanting, and traditional EggBert Family Easter Day Christian Celebration – 2009

1)  We all awoke early to the beautiful sunshine of Easter morn,  dressed up in our finest clothes & walked to church to celebrate that, after HE was crucified for OUR sinful natures, our Lord Jesus Christ had indeed Arisen from the Dead – Hallelujah!!!  In church, we read these inspirational words in our pew bibles:  John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

2) When we all arrived home after church, we spent the rest of the morning hours studying, discussing, & celebrating together the Christian Word:  John 4:11 – Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

3) After sharing the Christian Word all morning, we continued communing in peace and harmony seeking guidance from the Bible for much of the afternoon holding hands, praying, and worshipping together in Chrisitan Fellowship: 1 John 3:23 – And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.

4) Then, in annual EggBert Family tradition, we sent  the boys (& Neighbor Creamy Nugent’s huntin’ Pooch, Pubes) out back in Granny Gumption’s Garden to chase up some rabbit to castrate so Aunt Bertha could whip up some of her world-famous, delectable “Bertha Bullroar’s Baked, Broiled & Broasted Bunny Balls” for Easter Dinner!

5)  Then after supper, we got big-time drunk, bitched about the Un-Godly Anti-Christians into the wee hours of the night, and then, as family tradition has it, re-enacted Christ’s Crucifixion by beating up our niece/cousin/nephew Nathan Jane with our fists until he/it/she cried bled & wept…

Sincerely,

EggBert & The Holy EggBert Family/Neighborhood

Butt of the Joke

EggBert April 1, 2009 0Comments

Hi ya all – My Aunt Bertha’s got some bitchin’ to do on her bullhorn –

Aunt Bertha’s Bullhorn on April Fool’s Day, 2009:

“Our new President OBummer is boring and black…

– while former President Bush was our beloved white Frick’n Funny Fool…

So, to those of you so-called Americans who voted for the black guy for President – who’s the Butt of the Joke NOW? Huh?  Huh? What up – Huh?”

Sincerely,

EggBert (& Auntie Bertha who does not get enough from Uncle Rusty who watches too much PBS with Gramps Grumpy Gump who hasn’t given Granny Gumption what she desires for the past 77 years due to 1) his leaky weiner and 2) because she ONLY wants it filled up in the can)

Grumpy Gramps Gump wants to go Helter Skelter!!!

EggBert March 18, 2009 0Comments

Dear fellow blogsters:

RE: http://www.siouxlandlib.org/News/2009/March/18/fe_seminar

After reading this bit of informational news from the Sioux Falls city website, my Gramps Grump Gumption cursed, spit, and growled out, “Consarn it, maybe insteada carvin’ up Tate/LaBianca California folks, old man Sioux Falls Mayor Davey Manson oughta attend his own Damn Fancy Pants City Library-hosted finance class & go carve up his own city budget to help out Sioux Falls, SD folks. Of all the fool-darn ironies, sheoot!  Why, I oughta go Helter Skelter on his Ass!”

Of course, we disagreed with him, as we believe our city leaders are already highly knowledgeable in the proper ways of finance, i.e. spending & saving & spending, so we sat there and put up with his stink. But when the old fart was finally finished rantin’ & ravin’, we gave him a Lienenkugal beer, more of his “special” prescription medication, and sent him packin’ to Wednesday night church for confession…  

Sincerely,

EggBert & his fellow BBB (Beer-Bloggin’ Buddies)

Happy St. Patty Catty Day from the EggBert Family

EggBert March 17, 2009 2Comments

Top of the Evenin’ to ya –

My Neighbor, Creamy Nugent, and her Pussy, Mr. Lucky O’LickMeister, wants to wish our fellow beloved, pure-bred, Conservative, Pope-lovin’, white-skinned, Irish bastard citizens of SD a very lickable Happy St. Patty Catty’s Day!  Purr, Lick, Purr, Lick, Lick, Lick, Slurp, Suckle…

Sincerely,

EggBert & Neighbor’s Lucky Pussy

YIP-PEE! The Sioux Falls City “Fix A Leak Week”

EggBert March 13, 2009 1Comments

	HAPPEE DAY, EVERYONE! THIS kind of wonderful, city-wide event is what makes us love this city and our city leaders so much – Jeepers Creepers PEEpers, anyhew!
	http://www.siouxfalls.org/News/2009/March/13/fix_leak_week
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	The City of Sioux Falls along with EPA Launches Its First “Fix a Leak Week” March 16-20, 2009. How long have you been ignoring that constant drip…drip…drip coming from the shower or faucet? How about that running toilet?
Any takers out there (or over at City Hall) up for helping fix my Neice Nellie’s boyfriend, Petey Schwetty’s leaky wiener? Sincerely, EggBert & Neice Nellie’s boyfriend, Petey Scwetty’s wild & wooley weinerÂ