Sioux Falls City Councilor Greg Neitzert’s ‘findings of fact’ hearing
l3wis It will be at 6 PM on Monday (Sep 28)
Humor
Do Lifeguards, Librarians and City Directors have vulnerable immune systems?
In a recent national medical study funded by a local government agency they found some startling results; public employees who work as librarians, lifeguards, city directors and managers have very poor immune systems. So poor, the common cold could knock they out for months, even have life-threatening results.
Dr. Bowlshyt who assisted with the study said, “We kept wondering why everyone else in the private sector was going back to work, and managing Covid infections just fine except this group of the workforce. Heck even firefighters, public works employees and police were having low cases.”
For a long time here in our own city and across the country there seemed to be a reluctance to open public libraries, swimming pools and local government offices, now we know why.
“Some have argued that this group may be arrogant, or paranoid for not going back to work like everyone else, like they are some special class of people. But that may not be the case,” continued Dr. Bowlshyt, “While we did find a high level of anxiety and paranoia with this group, we chalked it up to being public employees. But what we found in our medical study is that not only do some of them lack a backbone (said in a sarcastic tone) but they virtually have NO immune system either.”
This may explain why our city and many other cities refuse to send these people back to work. They may have had this medical data all along.
Economist Darrell Dewnuthin also weighed in on the economic side of paying these people while they ‘Joe Biden’ it in their basements, “Well, in reality, does this sector of people really work anyway? Have we noticed any change to the functionality of our cities while this sector of people have been absent? None to report. Cities have actually been saving money because they don’t have these facilities open.”
The only difference is that the taxpayers are still paying the wages and benefits associated with this group of people while they essentially ‘work’ from home. But it’s kind of hard to check out a book, swim in a pool or get a building permit from places that are closed. So what really have they been working on the past several months?
Local citizen advocate Pam Tanga thinks she knows the answer to that question, “What they have been doing before Covid hit. NOT MUCH!”
Local Govt entities join forces to become ‘Sioux Falls OP-OUT’
For years, there has been a push for Minnehaha County and the City of Sioux Falls to join forces and become one. With this merger, they went even a step further. The City of Sioux Falls, the County and also the School District are now all one entity called ‘Sioux Falls OP-OUT’
County Treasurer Stan Neilson said, “So many people are confused about where their property taxes go, and with all these increases by all three entities, this will just make it easier to raise . . . uh . . . I mean ‘regulate’ your property taxes.â€
So with this change I wondered if it would actually save taxpayers millions in employee salaries and benefits since a lot of the jobs could be combined.
“Highly unlikely,†said HR director for the city, Bud Da’Toole, “We are going to actually ADD more employees, mostly in management, because we will need a lot of middle managers to handle the transition, I also expect the the administrators to double in the education side of the deal.â€
There was one bright spot in the whole transition though, and good news in the Parks and Rec department. Parks Director Dave Kornhole explains, “We figured since we are paying teachers a yearly salary anyway, they might as well work the entire year, so during the summer we will have teachers working in our parks mowing grass and during winter break we will have them plowing streets.â€
I wondered if teachers would be qualified to plow the streets. Street director Kyle Skidmore said, “Like our current snowplow operators, if they don’t know how to use the snowgates properly, they’ll just skip a driveway or two.â€
Some wondered who would be the administrator of this new unity. Would it be the mayor, the superintendent or the commission chair? Former county chair Sandy Highpants said that was an easy decision, “I’m in charge. I’m always in charge.â€
We asked superintendent Bruce Mauler if he was aware of the new leadership decision. “Yeah, she may be ‘in charge’ but we all know who makes the decisions around this joint, behind closed doors of course.â€
Mayor TwoSh*ts was unavailable for comment because he was busy with a SELFIE Shoot by a hat rack at Flying J Truckstop.
We also wondered what the legislative makeup would be. City council chair Marty Selless said that the first process would be asking any of the board members of each of the entities if they would want to resign. The only taker so far was Commissioner Jesse Farth who told Marty, “I’m outta here suckers!â€
The second step of elimination would be done during a joint meeting with all three bodies. “Basically, whoever falls asleep during that meeting or is caught texting would be eliminated. We figured that should whittle us down to about 5 members†said Selless.
So there you have it, in the name of even higher property taxes, we have made government more efficient.
Mayor Paul wants you to stop making fun of Bikini Lady
I guess this is how our mayor spends his time, concerned that an elderly lady who is probably oblivious to her image being used for satire (I had to have someone tell me it was her). He really needs to concentrate on the mess in Whittier neighborhood instead.
I will agree with some of the concerns that the artist should have maybe asked permission. She’s not hard to find, I know where she lives because I saw her one day mowing her lawn in a bikini.
I don’t think he was ‘making fun’ of her. The way he drew her took in consideration to not portray her in an unflattering way, and besides, I think anyone at that age who can powerwalk while reading a book is a superhero. I can barely chew gum and ride bike at the same time.
I also think that most acentric people are oblivious to the attention they receive, and probably don’t care. I’m guessing if she even knows about it, she would be happy some of the proceeds from the t-shirt sales is going towards charity.
Sometimes people automatically think that satire is only used to make people look bad or embarrass them, but sometimes, like in this image, it can be flattering. But for the record Paul, the satire twitter page about your selfies, WAS making fun of you, and it was LMFAO funny.
