Parody

New High School to be named after Ronald Reagan?

Of course we have to wait and see if the bond issue passes on Tuesday, but a group of local businessmen may already be planning to propose it be named after the Gipper.

Of course, many have been proposing Jefferson, but in reality it can be named after any president.

Last week I overheard a group ‘upper crust’ businessmen enjoying a cocktail at Minerva’s bar discussing the push to name it after Reagan.

“Makes sense doesn’t it?” One of them says, “What could be more fitting? I mean, Reagan stuck it to the middle and lower middle class during his presidency that has had lasting economic impact over the past 38 years widening the gap between rich and poor.”

“Not sure I understand?” says one of his friends

He replies, “Well the bond itself will burden those same people for up to 30 years. And who can forget sticking it to the elderly on fixed incomes?”

A third guy chimes in, “Sounds verrrryyyy Reagan-ness to me. Here’s a cheer to Ronald Regan High School!”

*While this is a parody, don’t be surprised if someone actually proposes it.

Fugly & Butt’erface newly named Alpacas at the Zoo!

The Great Plains Zoo recently held a competition to name the new junior Alpacas. While there was many submissions we were surprised by the winning names.

One parent whose 7 year old child submitted cried for days, “While my little angel loves butter, once I explained what ‘Fugly’ meant she just started bawling.”

One parent said, “So now we are going to let thug rappers submit names? The GPZ is going to H*ll”

We were curious why the zoo chose these controversial names when so many kids submitted more suitable names. Public Policy Director for the Zoo, Geoffrey P. Flamingo said, “Sure, we had cute names like ‘Ice Cream’ and ‘Root Beer’ and even ‘Diaper Dance’ but the staff who has to look at these two every day felt we needed something more appropriate. I mean, just look at them! They are a cross between a hornless goat and a goose. And even when they are attempting to be cute, they sneeze boogers everywhere.”

While I was taken back by the cruelness of the names, there was also a part of me that noticed they had this ‘I wish I was still in Peru’ look about them.

Maybe the new names will bring them more charity?

Billion’s ‘Black Iron’ Development NOT concerned about train noise downtown

And you think the trains are loud downtown?

At the Sioux Falls City Council informational meeting last Tuesday, David Billion said he wasn’t to concerned about the rail traffic noise and whistles downtown because they have had tenants near the tracks for over a decade with little complaints.

He also added that ALL prospective residential tenants will be submitted to listening to Billion Auto Ads for an 8 hour period. He figures this will prepare them for any train noise.

SD Delegation sends Trump 2nd letter; this time with an Applebees giftcard

Well you know what they say, you catch more bees with honey. Senator Thune said this about the 2nd attempt to address the trade war, “We know that the president likes to eat crappy food, so we thought this would be a great follow-up letter.”

I asked Thune since he was 3rd in line for GOP leadership in Washington couldn’t he just pick up the phone and call Trump?

Thune seemed confused and said, “Interview over.”