Poetry

The Ugly Table #40-42 (Bacon, Decaf & Suicide)

l3wis May 24, 2011 10Comments

Young Server (1)

Byron: My customer wants extra crispy bacon on their burger, how do I do that?

Me: Special instruction it.

Byron: But isn’t the bacon pre-cooked, how will it get crispy?

I just walked away . . . quickly.

Young Server (2)

Saundra: Which pot of coffee is the decaf? The orange or the black? Can you tell by the smell?

I just walked away . . . quickly.

Young Server (3)

OVERHEARD CONVO BETWEEN SAID SERVER AND BUSBOY

BB: What’s the difference between suicide and homicide?

Saundra: Suicide is when you are by yourself, homicide is when another person is present.

I just walked away . . . quickly as gunfire roared.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/24/11

The Ugly Table Challenge

l3wis May 4, 2011 38Comments

I would like to read your prose when it comes to dining out, or bad experiences you have had. Submit your entries in the comment section.

Your prize? I will buy you and a guest dinner at the place I work, BUT, you have to request me as your server, so I can pamper your ass. But there is a hook, you have to eat what I recommend.

Beer Jew and Angry Guy are excluded from this contest, just because.

The Ugly Table #39

l3wis May 3, 2011 0Comments

TABLE TURNING

As a server, we understand, the faster you turn tables, the more money you make (well some of us do).

My best time at my current employer; 22 minutes.

But last night, I had a new record, I turned a 15 top in 65 minutes.

I’m exhausted.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/3/11