The Ugly Table (#29)
l3wis 
You ordered an extra well done sirloin and doused it in ketchup
and after you ate the whole thing, you said to me,
“It tasted like crap!”
I’m sure it did.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/17/11
Poetry
The (lovely) Ugly Table (#28)
Image: Stephanie Diani for The New York Times
STRIPPERS AND SUSHI
My advice to the two strippers who unexpectedly joined me for Sushi last night,
“Stay away from the white fish – the pink is much better.”
Somehow I think they got the gist of it.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/16/11
Poetry Club w/ Charles Luden
An open notebook
A bite of dark chocolate
A sip of Tuaca
Then a swallow of water
Chased with coffee
The One Wanted, Missed
She looked for the one
in her dreams
for a long time
This one came home
but it was wrong
Her mind frozen long ago
Charles Luden • 2-9-11 • at Champps
The Ugly Table (#27)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zeaYFQMJM[/youtube]
JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE
If you have a problem with . . .
cussing
sexual harassment
unwanted come-ons
teenage sluts
intimidation
fat jokes
drug, alcohol, cologne, hair spray and gel abuse
clean employee bathrooms
You need to find a new career besides the hospitality industry
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/10/11
The Ugly Table (#26)
It seems like in one swift motion Obama has solved obesity while increasing my dessert sales.
Well, at least he has increased my dessert sales.
Yesterday we implemented a new policy, no bread before a meal unless they want it. (It’s part of Obama’s secret plot to make Americans healthy while he smokes cigs on the WH’s back forty)
We must ‘Ask’ customers if they want bread now.
At first, I thought, OH BOY, here comes the complaints.
But I soon found out 50% of the people said, “No, I don’t want to fill up before the meal.”
I sold a lot of cheesecake and ice cream yesterday.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/7/11