The Ugly Table (#15 & #16)
A camper is a person(s) who hangs out at your table for hours after they have paid.
On a slow night, no one cares. On a busy night I would love to meter these people like a taxi.
“Wanna sit and block my section for three hours? Your tip just tripled.”
But when our lobby is packed, you are not just screwing my sales potential, you are pissing off my next customer who has to wait while you tell your friends about how little Johnny said ‘poo-poo’ today or how your boss is an a-hole.
Nobody cares, including your friends who are too chickenshit to just put on their coats and leave.
Go home. Go to a bar. Go to a coffeehouse. Go somewhere.
But, please, leave my section. NOW!!!!!!!
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 12/15/10
PRE-CAMPERS
“We will have some joiners in a few minutes.”
10 minutes later, fidgeting with their phone device
“Oh, they just texted, they will be here shortly.”
20 minutes later
“Could you bring more bread?”
40 minutes later
“Not sure what is going on? They said they would be here, must have gotten stuck in traffic.”
50 minutes later
“We are ready to order.”
Who are you?
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 12/15/10