The Ugly Table, But even better (H/T – Hos)
l3wis 
http://thebitchywaiter.blogspot.com/
I loved this part from this post;
If you happen to see guests saying grace before the meal, pause for them to finish. — jiminboulder
In all my years of working in restaurants, I have never seen a waiter interrupt someone saying grace. I can’t imagine that ever happening. I think this person just wanted to get their name on the list so they came up with this non-existent issue. If it’s a real problem, maybe they should pray about it.
While this may not be hilarious to you, I enjoyed it for a number of reasons 1) He is right, I have never interrupted someone who is praying 2) his line ‘maybe they should pray about it.’ cracked me up and 3) This isn’t about grace, this is about customer’s who make shit up to bitch about.
Which leads me to a story, not a poem. There was this lady who would come to my place of employment every couple of weeks, and she would complain every time about her steak not being cooked right, not to me everytime, but to every single server that ever waited on her. I noticed this after awhile, and whenever she would walk through the door I would warn the server who waited on her, and no matter how hard they tried to get her steak right, it was always wrong. Then she would get it for FREE (because she would eat most of it – then complain). Why would she keep coming back to a place that cooks her food wrong? If I have a bad experience – bye, bye. Well it dawned on me, because she understood the scam. It was obvious she wasn’t a picky eater, she weighs well over 300 lbs. Anyway, I was salivating to wait on her again. Bam, one night I got her again. And I bent over backwards. I repeated the steak temp and color to her TWICE. I told the grill chef to cook it perfectly, I told the owner and the FOH manager and they all noted it. Sure enough, end of the meal, I went to the table to ask if they wanted the dessert. She left two bites on the plate (everything else was gone) and bitched it wasn’t cooked enough. I was livid. I told her that I would talk to a manager, well apparently I whisked the plate away too fast, so when the FOH manager talked to her about comping her steak, for the 900th time, she told her that I was the biggest asshole she ever met because I took the plate so fast. Well I got into trouble over it, but I also accomplished something, she hasn’t returned. Wanna no why? I caught her at her game.
