The Ugly Table (#3)

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THE UGLY TABLE

The first and the last date started here.

Nobody fell in love.

Nobody felt comfortable.

Nobody proposed marriage.

But the borscht was good.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 11/11/10

The Ugly Table (#2)

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KIDS

I don’t think your kids are cute.

In fact, I don’t think about them at all. They are not mine.

I do however get upset when they whack me in the nuts while I am trying to take your order.

and they are messy.

Do us both a favor. Leave them at home next time.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 11/9/10

The Ugly Table (#1)

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I debated how I wanted to do this. I wanted to talk about my experiences as a full-time waiter in Sioux Falls. I have worked in restaurants on and off for almost 22 years. Seen a lot of things. But when you deal with the public on a daily basis, you get a true lesson in sociology. I don’t want to piss and moan, so I decided to do this in the form of poetry. I am going to call the series ‘The Ugly Table’ which I may explain someday. But not today.

A DOLLAR OVER

A dollar over 10% is not 15%

It is a dollar over 10%

You may have thought you tricked me, or hoodwinked me, but you just insulted me.

If your bill is $60. Your tip is not $7.

Let’s get out the calculator.

It is $9.

When you wash your clothes, do you use the correct amount of detergent? Or just a $1 over?

You have dirty clothes.

S. L. Ehrisman (c) 11/8/10