“Who even has a body like that?!”
Okay, you often see images of models in the grocery store magazines, and think to yourself, “This shit doesn’t exist in real life.”
Well, tonight, I saw it.
I won’t even describe the outfit (which was modest to a point), or the girl’s body, that’s for some smutty magazine.
But when I pointed her out to one of my (Male) co-workers, he titled this piece.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 5/19/12
Excerpt from an online complaint;
“While our waiter was nice, he wasn’t really with it. And I couldn’t really figure out why everyone (staff and manager) were gathering around a particular table (A guy with long hair, middle-aged and overweight) like he was the proverbial ‘Pied Piper’ or ‘cult favorite.’
Gary is a regular who comes in about 4-5 times a week and many of the servers sit and talk to him (I try not to) so they can get out of working, I assume. The amazing part about Gary is that there is nothing special about him. He’s a truck driver by trade, dresses like Homer Simpson, and is basically full of shit. Glad a customer took notice. Other then that, the only thing interesting about him is that he tips 40%.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 3/16/12
As she was trying to find her license her birth control pills flew out of her purse onto the table. Her face turned red and she smiled at me.
And I said, “Proper ID please.”
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/24/12
I could write a book to . . .
$54 dollar tab
$45 coupon
$9 on credit card
$3 cash tip
I asked the table if there was something wrong with my service. And one of the gentlemen said, “No. But I appreciate your honesty. You are proud of the service you give.”
Then as I turn the corner walking away he says to the rest of the table, “I told you I could write a book about this place.”
In which I almost turned around and said, “And I could write a book about the cheap unappreciative people that I have to wait on, like yourself, but instead I just think I will make you the subject of another entry of The Ugly Table.
S. L. Ehrisman (c) 2/24/12
