Eggbert giving Grammy Gumption a ride.
I don’t often laugh out loud – but Eggbert’s posts alway make me burst.
Congrats. The Golden Turkey Turd is awaiting you.
EggBert family men’s Santa transportation Gift Wish list – 2008
1. Neice Nellie’s boyfriend, Petey Schwetty’s “I likey the Huge/Big Pie rock’em sock’em van” - Â
2. Grumps Gramp Gumption’s “Lean ‘n Mean Colonel Sander’s Soylent Green Cole Slaw Machine” – Â
3. Neighbor Jed Nugent’s “Rip-roarin’ & scorin’ some oldy goldy mobile” –
4. Uncle Rusty’s “Cleanin’ On Up Contaminated Consumer Christmas & Corporate Crime Citizen/Customer Service Cruiser” –
5. Neighbor Ned Nugent’s “White Wide Loads the Way I Likes ’em Rig” – (the whiter & wider the load, the farther my white wide one drives ’em)
Hoping your Santa transportation Gift Wish list is granted –
Merry Christmas, everyone (except for you Democrats, Independents, Pro-Abortionists, non-white colored folks, anti-Christians, hippies, gaybaits, females, and college professors) –
Sincerely,
EggBert Tiberius Frankfurter Ichabod Goofenstein, Jr.
EggBert Family & Friend 2008 Thankful List:
On this wonderful Thanksgiving Day, my family and friends want to wish you all a glorious, utopical, crisis-free Holiday of love, food, and football (don’t watch the news today, because nothing important happens on Turkey Day!). Each family member submitted their short list of what they are each thankful for this year – 2008:
“THIS THANKSGIVING, IÂ AM THANKFUL FOR…”
Petey Schwetty: Chicks, especially ones who like to feel the heat of Petey’s pistol.Â
Neighbor Ned Nugent: Guns, so I can shoot things like deer, and darkies.
Granny Gumption: Coffee cans to pee in, President George W. Bush, and Pastor Steve.
Uncle Rusty: My family and friends (though nutjobs), and for good citizens like this one for stepping up to the plate – Â http://beta.argusleader.com/article/20081122/VOICES09/811220319/-1/archive
Neighbor Creamy Nugent: Young fertile men with lots of money, assorted condoms, and big penile units.
Niece Nellie: Nice young boys like my loving boyfriend, Petey, who takes care of his girlfriends (like me) by impregnating them and sending them to the Unruugggggh’s Alphabet Center for abstinence education.
Gramps Grumpy Gump: Homeland Security government terrorist color chart alert safety systems so insurgents won’t blow up the United States or India.
Aunt Bertha: What the Hell else? A sweet, chiseled snow-machine man like Hotty Toddy Paladin. Yummy!!!
Neighbor Jed Nugent: White people, and cute, cuddly white poodles.
Sister-nephew Leslie Steve Allen Brandi Geibink-Cable: My role models who are my namesakes, for giving me unconditional love, gender-crisis counseling, and abstinence education.Â
 Eggbert Tiberious Frankfurter Ichabod Goofenstein: My fellow bloggers, and for my Papa Poop and Mama Mush who went to work for the GOP during the Nixon Administration and left me in a coffee can on my grandparents’ stoop when I was but a wee child, but who also bestowed upon me my delicious wit, intelligent mind, and proud name.
*The photo above is of our Annual EggBert Family & Friend Thanksgiving Day traditional Turkey-Turd Search in the woods (after snarfing down 16 pizzas and sucking down 13 kegs of Schlitz beer) as Grampa Grumpy Gumpty shows off his turd (since we couldn’t find any turkeys).
Sincerely, wishing you all a very thankful and Turkey-Turd rewarded Thanksgiving –
EggBert, family & friends
America is not at war.
The military is at war.
America is at the mall.
This is from a multitude of emails I have gotten over the past few weeks (H/T- Eggbert), so I am going to try to tie all this shit together.
You can also redesign the bp logo.
Bill Gates, Melinda Gates, and Warren Buffett are asking the nation’s billionaires to pledge to give at least half their net worth to charity, in their lifetimes or at death. If their campaign succeeds, it could change the face of philanthropy.
Ironic Johnny Thune accepts $5,000 from a pizzeria employee;
| Abramoff, Jack Mr. Washington, DCÂ 20006 Preston Gates Ellis et al/Gov’t Aff |
John Thune (R) Senate – SD BATTLE BORN CLASSIC COMMITTEE |
And for the artist in me a little poetry;
AÂ SUMMERÂ DAY
The extra girl
fell off the bicycleThe other
just rode onCharles Luden
6-15-10
(at Black Sheep)
And let’s finish with some Alaskan news from Sideshow’s mom;
In 1999 we vacationed in Nome, AK and as I read the sign “There’s no place like Nome†I chuckled and thought “good thingâ€.  The weather was lousy, the town was littered with garbage and I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to live here.  Now, eleven years later, I live here 10 – 14 days a month and have a different perspective of this community.  It’s a vibrant little town with three grocery stores, great restaurant choices, a movie theater, a bowling alley in the works and a wonderful road system.
There are three roads or about 220 miles to go out and view nature at its best. The Council road is about 75 miles long that ends at a river.  This is a popular place for the locals to launch their fishing boats.  There is a small summer community or fishing camp across the river called Council.  The Teller road ends at the village of Teller.  The third road is the Kougarok, where many birders go to find the bristle-thighed curlew.
Joe was here visiting me in Nome this weekend.  We had three full days and we turned each road into a full day of adventure.  A short drive out of Nome and it is a tranquil paradise…wide open spaces with views of mountains, ocean, and wildlife.  When the wind isn’t blowing, the only noise to be heard is from the birds.  Much of the land is wind swept rocky turf covered with beautiful dainty little flowers.  We saw a moose munching on the new green brush.  We watched herds of musk ox as they napped, ran and grazed.  The reindeer were plentiful.  We enjoyed great views of one large grizzly bear and of a fox.  We snuck a few peeks at some spotted seals and a couple of beavers.  The arctic ground squirrel added a little entertainment to the trip and the birds were spectacular.
The birding highlights include – a pair of Peregrine Falcons close to their nest, a nest under a bridge with two large Gyrfalcon fledglings eating a Ptarmigan for dinner, 4 different types of loons (Common, Red-throated, Pacific and Arctic), Willow and Rock Ptarmigan (not being eaten for dinner), Common Eiders and  great looks at another 70 species.
Enjoying summer and hope you are too!
BTW, they are birdwatchers!