Urgent Action Needed! Please Help Out!
Ghost of Dude 
As you may already know, several large investment banks have recently gone tits up. Thousands of investment bankers will soon be in line for a table at Applebee’s, forgoing their usual reservation at Spago. An estimated 100,000* executives from the nation’s largest companies may soon be jumping from a window near you!
Do your part!
Please make donations to the Lehman Bros. charity fund, a non-profit group dedicated to assisting suicidal and soon-to-be-broke mid-level executives. Your donation will help to prop up the threatened lifestyles of investment bankers across the NYC tri-state area.
Please hurry!
Many executives have already had to sell their properties in the Hamptons, and many more are thinking about selling their yaghts. If this crisis lasts as long as expected, many investment bankers will be forced to summer and winter in the same home!
Please make your donation via Paypal today!**
*All figures derived ex rectumÂ
**Please send payments to Ghost of Dude at his e-mail address, ghostofdude@yourmom.com
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